


Dark Side

by Eleanor_Rose_Carlson



Category: Glee
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans Friendship, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Caring Sebastian, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Hurt Blaine Anderson, Hurt Sebastian Smythe, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Hunter, Possessive Sebastian, Protective Sam, Sam Evans is a Saint, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:28:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleanor_Rose_Carlson/pseuds/Eleanor_Rose_Carlson
Summary: He didn’t get very far down the hallway before breaking down crying. And after just a few seconds he felt a pair of arms wrap around him, holding him tight. Blaine knew this had to be Sebastian and for just a few seconds he allowed himself to be comforted by another human. He took a hold of Sebastian’s blazer and curled his fingers into fists around it, as he sobbed loudly into the tall man’s chest. He noticed Sebastian’s hesitant and delicate fingers play with the curls at the nape of his neck. It felt so good to be held. No one had held him in a long time.Or: A slowburn Seblaine story.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Hunter Clarington/Sebastian Smythe, Sam Evans/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 21
Kudos: 49





	1. Will it make you run away?

**Author's Note:**

> So… I’m bored. And I came across an episode of Glee. Oh it has been YEARS since i’ve watched that show. Obviously i’ve seen bits of episodes here and there, but I haven’t actually watched watched the show since it first aired. Buuuut i’m a big fan of Sebastian. He was an interesting character they really could’ve done something with, but… that didn’t happen. So here I am, writing the season 4 I wanted to see with lots of Seblaine and angst and sex <3 
> 
> Disclaimers:  
> \- I have an idea of where this story is going to go, but I haven’t outlined it fully yet. I wanna keep it exciting for me as well… hehe. 
> 
> \- This is my first time writing for this fandom.
> 
> \- I’m going to put a warning in the beginning of each chapter, so no one will be triggered. I wanna create a fun AND SAFE story for y’all <3 
> 
> \- English isn’t my first language, so be nice, please?

“Sebastian” Blaine sighed “Of course it was you…”. Of course. _Of course_ he hadn’t actually changed. Blaine should have known. But no. Instead he had given Sebastian the benefit of the doubt, thinking that there might, somewhere deep deep deep inside of him exist a tiny little piece of compassion.. or just - normal human behavior? But no. Sebastian had even made Blaine believe in him this summer. They had met up at The Lima Bean - much to Kurt’s dismay - and Sebastian had apologized for everything. When Blaine got to Kurt’s house that evening, his then boyfriend hadn’t believed Sebastian nor his intentions.. And Blaine shouldn’t have had either. The meeting had resulted in a fight between the pair. Looking back, Blaine could now categorize that particular fight as the beginning to their end. There had been a lot of yelling that night. Something Kurt had known would upset Blaine. But yelling however, there had been. But yelling was better than silence, Blaine had decided, for silence was the thing that broke them apart in the end.

As Blaine continued his way down the large staircase, he watched as Sebastian shook his head. “No it wasn’t… I swear”. As he reached the other man, Blaine made sure to pull his most convincing face of indifference, even though he felt tiny next to his former enemy. “I turned over a new leaf - Remember?” Sebastian continued.

“Oh that’s right” mumbled Blaine while rolling his eyes.

“No more bullying, blackmail or assault this year...”

“That must be boring for you” Blaine continued. He walked past Sebastian, who followed him, and headed down the hallway. “Yeah it is… Being nice sucks.” Sebastian answered with a smile on his face. Blaine tried to act as though he didn’t believe him, but something about Sebastian, made the excuse sound almost sincere. That could, of course, just be that damn charm of his.

Suddenly he felt a pair of hands gently resting on his chest. Sebastian had stepped in front of him and was all of a sudden so incredibly close. The strong scent of mint was weighing down the air, making Blaine feel lightheaded. “You don’t believe me” he heard Sebastian say. He almost sounded amused by the fact.

“No Sebastian, I do not believe you” Blaine snapped back, not meeting his eyes. That however soon changed, as one of the hands that before had rested on his chest, Sebastian now used to force Blaine to look up at him. “Aw, come on Killer, if being good means being on the same side as you, it’s worth it” Sebastian smirked and Blaine gulped. The warmth of the hand disappeared, but not before a thumb had caressed his cheekbone. What? What did Sebastian mean about sides.. and why was Blaine’s side worth it? He opened his mouth wanting to say something, but couldn’t find the words. “Blaine, you’re thinking too much… Now come on, he’s waiting for you in the library.”

“Who is?”

“The guy you’re here to see” Sebastian answered, stepping closer to Blaine. Blaine now felt miniscule with Sebastian hovering over him like this. It wasn’t even as though he was standing too close, but Blaine had learned early on not to trust Sebastian Smythe. He licked his lips which caused Sebastian to smirk even wider before continuing: “The captain of the Warblers”. Blaine stared at him, this time with narrow eyes.

“I thought you were the captain of the Warblers?” Blaine whispered and didn’t miss the sad smile that appeared on Sebastian’s face.

Blaine opened up the double doors and entered the library, Sebastian right behind him. He looked around for not more than a second, before he heard a voice coming from behind him. “I knew they would send you.” Blaine turned around to reveal a person he had never seen before. “Allow me to answer the most obvious questions. I’m Hunter Clarington, i’m the new captain of the Warblers and i’m not even remotely bi-curious” The person - Hunter - said. Hunter then went on to explain how he could possibly be the new captain of the Warblers when Blaine had never seen, or even heard of, him before. Blaine’s confused facial expression must have been… well, obvious.

“See you’re kind of a legend here... I like that. So, here’s my offer” Hunter continued and Blaine rolled his eyes, not really expecting having to bargain for the trophy… New Direction’s trophy. “Your little diversity club can have it’s National’s trophy back, when you rejoin the Warblers.”

Unbelievable.

“And why would I ever leave McKinley?”

“Why would you stay?” Hunter asked and started making his way towards Blaine. Blaine bit his lower lip, not feeling as tiny as he did around Sebastian, but somehow felt ten times more uncomfortable. “I heard you only went there to be with Kurt, right?” Ouch. “In fact, I even hear they call you Blaine Warbler.” Now Hunter was standing right in front of him. “They know you don’t belong there - So why don’t you?” He finished, staring at him with a cold expression. A voice behind him spoke.

“We all know the real Blaine, Blaine” He heard Sebastian say and felt a hand on the small of his back. The hand traveled around his body with the rest of Sebastian who was now also standing in front of him. The rest of the Warblers were all entering the room as Sebastian continued to speak. “Ambitious, driven…” Sebastian said looking straight into Blaine’s eyes through dark thick lashes. Blaine felt light-headed again. “You’re a Dalton boy” Sebastian said as he reached out and gave Blaine’s upper arm a squeeze. Fuck.

“Present the blazer” Blaine is pulled out of his trance-like state by Hunter’s voice.

“That’s not going to work on me” Blaine answered, looking at his old school uniform.

“Then why be afraid to try it on?” Hunter asked and took a step closer to Sebastian, and from what Blaine could see, the other man placed a hand on his former enemy’s lower back. Blaine looked from Hunter to Sebastian, who suddenly looked as small as Blaine felt… Weird. He didn’t get the chance to investigate the weird behavior any further though, because Sebastian, yet again, had moved to stand behind him, helping him put on the blazer. It fit like a glove. Shivers ran down Blaine’s spine as he felt a puff of hot air against his ear.

“Looking good, Killer.”

The warmth of Sebastian was soon replaced as an arm wrapped itself around his shoulders. Hunter. He was talking about the Nationals and how he wanted Blaine to join the “winning side”, the Warbler side… But Blaine was still feeling dizzy and didn’t really listen, until:

“You know what goes great with a new Dalton blazer?” Blaine heard Sebastian's raspy voice say and he turned his head to find the other man smiling. Not smirking. Smiling. Huh. “An impromptu song” Sebastian answered his own question and shrugged. Wait, what? Blaine turned around, away from Hunter and was faced with the familiar faces of his old classmates. They all looked so excited. He couldn’t tell if it was because of seeing Blaine back in a Dalton blazer or because of Sebastian’s suggestion.

“What, one song for your old buddies?” Sebastian asked, probably noticing the hesitant look on Blaine’s face.

“Guys, I didn’t come here to sing” he said truthfully, but it was too late. Suddenly the movement in the room shifted and the air was filled with music.

Blaine kept standing still, but decided that one song wouldn’t hurt anyone. The Warbler’s sat down on the couches surrounding Blaine, making it look as if, he was telling them a story. _“Uh-ooh. Uh-oh oh, oh, There's a place that I know. It's not pretty there and few have ever gone... “_ Sebastian suddenly rose from where he was sitting and moved to join Blaine, standing in front of him, continuing the song:

  
“ _If I show it to you now. Will it make you run away?... Will you stay…Even if it hurts?”_ As Sebastian was singing he was walking backwards, holding Blaine’s hand, forcing him to follow. Sebastian’s hand was rough, Blaine noticed.

_“Even if I try to push you out”_ Sebastian continued and pushed Blaine back, but quickly took a hold of his hand again and pulled the smaller man close to him for the next part of the song. _“Will you return?... And remind me who I really am”_

_“...Please remind me who I really am”_ Blaine sang the last part, looking up and into Sebastian’s eyes, and it was almost as if he was begging Sebastian to do exactly that. But how could he? Sebastian didn’t even know him. He had never been interested in knowing him.

The rest of the Warblers were now standing to join the two for the chorus. Sebastian had moved to stand in front of the dancing Warblers, still looking into Blaine’s eyes as both of them sang: _“Everybody's got a dark side. Do you love me? Can you love mine? - Nobody's a picture perfect. But we're worth it. You know that we're worth it…”_ Through the entire chorus Blaine and Sebastian’s eyes were locked. Blaine had to keep it that way. Looking away and he would’ve failed - He would’ve seemed vulnerable and as if he had a dark side to actually hide. He did, but it was not any of Sebastian’s concern. But the way the Sebastian was looking at him… It made him lose his breath. He knew that the man was trying to see through him, like he did when they first met. Sebastian had always had the ability to expose what Blaine desired, but he wouldn't allow it this time. He just couldn’t…. And then the chorus ended.

The Warblers stopped dancing and yet again Sebastian was walking towards Blaine, expecting them to continue this… duet. This time their bodies were lightly pressed together and Blaine had to take a deep breath before continuing. _“Will you love me? Even with my dar…”_ But his voice broke, he couldn’t continue. It was all too much really… It had been since he stepped onto the school grounds. He just couldn’t allow himself to show the same vulnerability when he sang anymore. It, for obvious reasons, had gotten him into a lot of trouble in the past. He pulled off his blazer and threw it at Sebastian, running out and into an empty hallway, his eyes burning.

He didn’t get very far down the hallway before breaking down crying. And after just a few seconds he felt a pair of arms wrap around him, holding him tight. Blaine knew this had to be Sebastian and for just a few seconds he allowed himself to be comforted by another human. He took a hold of Sebastian’s blazer and curled his fingers into fists around it, as he sobbed loudly into the tall man’s chest. He noticed Sebastian’s hesitant and delicate fingers play with the curls at the nape of his neck. It felt so good to be held. No one had held him in a long time. There were probably people out there who felt sorry for him as well, people who knew that he was hurting too. But those people also knew just what he had done. Blaine couldn’t feel sad around those people. That wouldn’t be fair to… him. How dared he show any kind of sadness, when it was his own reckless actions that got him here in the first place?

“Shh, you’re okay” he heard a raspy voice whisper. No… no? No he wasn’t okay. He didn’t deserve to be okay. He didn’t deserve someone trying to make him feel okay. Blaine untangled himself from the suffocating embrace and couldn’t make himself look up at the other man. “N-no” He mumbled and shook his head before running away.

Sebastian watched as Blaine ran away, still shocked. He, of course, knew that Blaine and Kurt had broken up, but had never realised that Blaine would be so completely crushed. He had thought that Blaine would be okay... After all, he had a lot of friends at McKinley who could take care of him, right? But having Blaine in his arm, even if it was just for a few seconds, it felt like it was his duty to take care of him, to make him feel better… Mainly because it felt as though no one had? Why hadn’t anyone been taking care of him? And with that, Sebastian decided to run after him. He needed to find him, needed to make sure that he knew, that Sebastian could take care of him… Be his friend. But then he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly. It hurt. He looked to his side, revealing the dark eyes of Hunter. “Let him go Sebastian” Hunter’s voice said. Then the hand left his shoulder, and a second later he felt the hand hold onto his own. Hunter was holding his hand… God he must look pathetic for Hunter to be holding his hand. “Come on, let’s get you some coffee.” And Sebastian followed him. He always followed him.

Sam had arrived at the Dalton grounds much quicker than Blaine had expected and he didn’t waste a second, running to the car as fast as he could as soon as he saw it. When he got into the car, he didn’t even get a chance to put on his seatbelt, before the interrogation began. “Blaine, what’s up?” he heard Sam’s dark voice ask and Blaine noticed that the engine had stopped running.. Wait what? He looked up at the blond. “Blaine.. Why are your eyes red? What happened? Seriously I almost killed an old lady, a child and her dog getting here as fast as I could. What happened? You’re worrying me...”

“I cheated on him” Blaine mumbled, looking into his lap - Ashamed. A tingling feeling was running through him, and his head felt heavy.

“Wait, what - You cheated on who?”

“Kurt.”

“Ah, yes dude, I know, bu-”

“No you don’t know Sam!” Blaine snapped, looking up and into the ocean eyes in front of him. “I… I’m sorry” he whispered. He had hurt Kurt, he couldn’t hurt Sam too.. The one person he actually felt like he could trust… Kind of. He felt his eyes sting again and turned away. “Blaine.” He heard the smooth voice of Sam whisper and then he felt a hand on his knee. He looked down a the hand. Focused on it. That way he didn’t have to look at Sam.

“I love him so much Sam… But I hurt him”

“I know. And that wasn’t cool. But you have to stop… What is that word you use, when you’re turning someone into a villain?”

At that, Blaine looked up at him and couldn’t help but laugh a bit, but as he did, the first few tears fell down his cheeks. “Villainize?” He asked and Sam gave him a comforting smile.

“Yeah, look - You have to stop villainizing yourself. You want to make it better right? Well you don’t get to make anything better by locking yourself away from us… From me” Sam whispered the last few words, wiping a few tears away from Blaine’s face. “We all love Kurt and want him to be happy. But we love you too, I love you, and i’m your friend and we are not going to choose sides. Even though things might be a bit awkward right now, you have to forgive yourself…” Sam said and unbuckled Blaine’s seatbelt, pulling him in for an awkward side hug. That was the second time Blaine let himself be held that day. He relaxed into the other man’s arms, this time, not planning on running away. “I just want to stop feeling like the bad guy” he whispered into Sam’s shoulder and he felt himself being pulled even closer. As he did, he spotted something in the backseat of the car… He was used to Sam’s car being messy, but not a mess. He blinked a few times to get the tears that was blocking his vision to fall down his cheeks which revealed… A sleeping bag? And a lot of vending machine junk.

“... one of the good guys, always have been - _Blaine?_ ”

Blaine shook his head and pulled away from Sam, offering him a small smile. “Thank you Sam” he mumbled. Sam just smiled back at him. They stayed like that for a few seconds. Soon after, they were on the road.

“So, do you want me to drop you off at school or at your house?” Sam asked after a few minutes of them just listening to an audiobook. Blaine nodded. “Yeah, just at my house is fine… Do you wanna, like.. Come in, play some video games?” Blaine asked, turning his head to look at Sam. “Yeah sure dude..”.


	2. Hello... Can you hear me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Was it Sebastian?”
> 
> “What?” Blaine asked and looked at Sam, who was just staring ahead of himself.
> 
> “Did you cheat on Kurt with Sebastian?” Sam asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all! Thank you so much for all your lovely feedback on the last chapter! Second of all; yes I do intend on making every chapter title as cheesy as possible ;) 
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:
> 
> \- Implied drug use  
> \- Violence
> 
> Hope you enjoy - And stay safe! <3

Sam had been around a lot lately. And Blaine hadn’t minded one bit. Blaine loved having Sam around - They had  _ so _ much in common. Obviously they both liked singing and performing, and sometimes Sam would even bring his guitar to Blaine’s house and they would just spent hours singing and writing. Most of the time however, they would just play video games for hours on end.

When Blaine was spending time with Sam, he felt normal again. With Sam he didn’t have to feel guilty for having a good time or apologize for being sad. It took him some time to realize, but some people didn't expect anything from you, except happiness. Sam was one of those people. 

Sam would never complain. He would just be there and listen. Sometimes Blaine did manage to feel guilty though, especially after one night where he had dragged Sam through half a season of One Tree Hill. That had resulted in Blaine agreeing to join Sam at the gym. That turned out okay in the end. The gym was a great way for Blaine to let off some steam and escaping the real world and responsibility for a few hours. 

𐩘𐩘𐩘

It was Thanksgiving today. The day of giving thanks, spending time with loved ones… and this year, the day of Sectionals. Blaine had been a nervous wreck all morning, which had resulted in him calling Sam, begging him for a morning run. Ten minutes later, Sam had been at his door dressed in his running gear. Blaine had blushed, and tried not to look too hard at his friend. It was silly, really… Even in a tank top and, mind you, way too short shorts Sam still managed to look handsome.

“Nice hair” Sam had said.

  
  


“Ha-ha” Blaine had answered back, blushing an even deeper scarlet. Blaine had expected Sam to comment on his natural curly hair, he just hadn’t expected the comment to be followed by a: “I’m serious…”

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


“Thanks for this” Blaine said when they had been running for about twenty minutes. Sam was being nice to him today, Blaine couldn’t help but notice. Usually Sam was at least two metres in front of him, running at a pace Blaine found unbearable. But this morning, they were going nice and slow. 

  
  


“Of course dude, it’s always a great to start your day with a run” Sam said, not seeming out of breath at all. Dickhead. And show off. Dickhead show off.

  
  


“Mmhm” Blaine agreed, trying to keep the pace as they rounded a corner. 

  
  


“Race you to the stop sign!” Sam yelled as soon as they had rounded the corner. Oh jeez - See, as much as Blaine loved working out with Sam, this had to be his least favourite thing. Mainly because Sam always won. And Blaine hated losing. Sam was already way ahead of him, when Blaine started running as fast as he could. He had actually almost caught up with the taller blond, by the time they reached the sign. As soon as Blaine did reach the sign, he bent over, trying to regain some energy… But not dignity, that, he lost a long time ago. 

  
  


“Nice work” He heard Sam say and then felt a clap on his back, which made him cough up. “Oh, sorry.” Sam laughed. 

  
  


Blaine shook his head and looked up at Sam, still trying to catch his breath. Why wasn’t he tired? Unfair. Sam just cocked his eyebrow at him. “Wanna continue? Or maybe just jog home to take a footbath Princess Blaine?”

“Oh fuck off” Blaine laughed and the two of them continued down the road. Something was wrong. Blaine felt something tighten in his right thigh, almost as if someone had swooped it in a large elastic band and was now pulling. The pain hadn’t registered in his brain before he fell over and onto someone’s lawn, grunting. 

  
  


“Blaine?” He heard Sam ask confused. 

  
  


“It’s nothing” Blaine tried to reassure his friend and was about to get back up, when he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder, pushing him down. “Hey, you’re not getting up!” Sam said, his tone of voice stern with a slight hint of worry. The pain was already fading, when he felt Sam’s fingers press down on the muscle of his thigh. Blaine blushed. “Does it hurt?” Sam asked the brunette as he looked up at him. “No” Blaine mumbled truthfully, avoiding Sam’s eyes.

  
  
  
  


“Let’s just rest for a bit.. You’ll be fine in a minute - Just tell me if it starts to hurt again.” Sam told him.

  
  


Blaine felt something around his shoulders and realized that Sam had pulled off his hoodie and was helping Blaine into it. “Such a gentleman” Blaine joked as Sam sat down next to him. “Wouldn’t want you to get cold” Sam said and wrapped an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. 

  
  


“Soo… Santana’s coming to Sectionals” Sam said after a minute of silence.

  
  


“Yeah?”

  
  


“Yeah… Brittany told me.” Blaine didn’t miss the sudden change in Sam’s voice. He knew that Sam was too kind to actually tell Brittany that sometimes it bothered him how much contact there still was between the two girls. He understood that Santana was first and foremost Brittany’s best friend and  _ of course _ they should be able to still contact each other… But Brittany chose Santana over Sam sometimes and that bothered.. No,  _ that hurt _ , Sam. Which, for obvious reasons, led Sam to feel unreasonable resentment towards the former Cheerio.

  
  


“Hey…” Blaine said and placed a hand on Sam’s knee. “Brittany is  _ your  _ girlfriend, not Santana’s. And she’s with you for a reason, alright?” Blaine said and Sam forced a smile. “I guess you’re right.”

  
  


“Of course I am and she lo-”

“What about Kurt - Is he coming?” Sam cut off Blaine. Blaine frowned and shook his head. “Uh, no, he’s spending Thanksgiving with his dad, Finn and Carole in New York” Blaine said and started to wonder. Where would Sam spend Thanksgiving? He was pretty sure that his friend wasn’t in fact living in a house with his family, but in his car. But why? Where was his family? 

  
  


“It’s fine, really… I’m just looking forward to my mom’s dinner… Oh she’s making this amazing pie, maybe I could bring some over for your family… Say hi to your siblings?” Blaine asked and stared at his friend, studying his reaction. Blaine saw how Sam frowned a tiny bit, probably trying to find an excuse.

  
  


“Uh, no it’s really fine dude” 

  
  


“Come on, we could even play a few so-”

  
  


“Blaine, I said no okay?!” He heard Sam snap and felt his hand tighten around his shoulder. Blaine tried to get up and even though it was hard without any help, he managed, the pain in his leg barely there anymore. He looked down at Sam who punched the ground, before getting up himself. He could see that his friend was struggling, a tight line present between his bushy eyebrows. “Blaine, i’m sorry for snapping, I-”

  
  
“Look Sam, I know you live in your car… I think i’ve known for a while now… Will you please talk to me?”

  
  


“What - I’m not?”

  
  


“Sam…”

  
  
“Whatever Blaine…” And that was the last words Blaine heard Sam say before his taller friend ran off. Shit. 

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


The Warblers had nailed it. Honestly, they had been amazing. Blaine obviously knew that the Warblers were amazing, but he had never seen them perform like that. Blaine could never have come up with something like that when he was a part of the group. After seeing them perform like that, Blaine had a very hard time seeing why Hunter wanted him to rejoin the group so badly. They obviously had no need for him… Plus, Blaine could never get himself to do any of those jumps…

  
  


The New Directions were making their way backstage after the Warblers were done with their performance. Blaine was trying to keep his head down. During the Warbler’s performance Blaine had come face to face with the reason for his anxiousness this morning. Blaine had never really gotten frightened by the idea of being on a stage, and honestly, Sectionals were an excuse, a lie, he told himself, to explain why he had been so nervous this morning. A lie he wanted to believe.

  
  


But the real reason as to why Blaine had been nervous, had been standing on the stage a few minutes ago. Sebastian. He had been amazing. Blaine was sure, that he had been blushing through their entire performance. But Sebastian hadn’t made it easy for him not to do so. Even though Blaine had made a deal with himself, of trying to avoid the taller Warbler for the entire show, he hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away from Sebastian when he had been performing. 

  
  


He had been the star of the show, the true captain of the Warblers. It had been easy to see. The best performance had been Sebastian’s solo. Not only because Sebastian was an amazing singer, but because of the unity the performance created.. And the way Sebastian could just take over a room, make everyone follow his every move. Blaine had made himself look away, when he had caught Sebastian’s eyes. But at least during their performance there had been a safe distance between them. Now however, with New Directions backstage, Blaine made sure to keep a low profile. 

  
  


It was easy really. Sam wasn’t talking to him. Normally Blaine wasn’t bothered with how much time his friend spend with his girlfriend, but tonight Sam made a big deal about kissing and hugging Brittany. It wasn’t only because of Blaine though, he knew that much. Santana was here as well and Blaine knew how anxious Sam had been about that. He wished he could walk to him, tell him to calm down... reassure him. But he couldn’t. Sam had been avoiding him, not only wasn’t he talking to Blaine, but he was also avoiding his eyes, making any wish of approaching him… Well, impossible. Blaine sat down. After this morning, his leg was fine, but now it was his head that felt heavy and his heart was beating really fast. He really wanted to make sure that Sam was okay. 

  
  


“Although I’m not happy with you at the moment, I am telling you, as a friend, that Sam is as straight as a ruler” he heard a voice next to him say. Santana. He shook his head. “It’s not like that.”

“No? - Then stop staring at him as if he is a piece of meat you wanna eat. Look, I’m not exactly happy that Brittany is with Sam, but she’s happy… And you don’t get to screw that up. You already ruined Kurt’s life” 

  
  


Blaine was shocked. He knew… Of course he knew, that he had hurt Kurt. Damn, he had spent such a long time beating himself up about it… But he hadn’t been thinking about it lately. Sam had made that guilt go away, Sam had made him believe that it was okay to want to move forward and that he wasn’t ‘the bad guy’. But obviously his wicked actions hadn’t been forgotten. Kurt hadn’t forgotten. And neither had Santana… Rachel, Finn… Everyone. Then his phone started buzzing. 

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


It wasn’t as if he was planning on eavesdropping. Ryder was just standing there when he heard Jake’s kind voice. 

  
  


“You okay?”

  
  


Ryder took a glance, wanting to know who he was talking to. Marley. Beautiful, kind Marley. Before the two noticed him, Ryder popped his head behind the curtain again, but kept standing still, wanting to know if she was actually okay. She had been weirdly quiet during the other performances. 

  
  


“Yeah” her voice answered.

  
  


“You don’t look okay.”

  
  


“Okay fine - I’m not okay” Shit. That wasn’t what Ryder had wanted to hear. He had faith in Marley - She was the most talented of them all, and unlike Ryder himself, she would blow the audience away with her amazing voice. 

  
  


“Look. It’s just nerves - It’s a good thing, you can use it” he heard Jake say. He smiled. Jake had such a kind soul. It was also a very Jake-like thing to say. He had told Ryder the exact same thing just a few days earlier when they had rehearsed Gangnam Style. Jake had offered to help Ryder with the dance lead, despite the fact that Jake wanted it… Despite the fact that Jake was the better dancer and singer and without a doubt could do this ten times better. Ryder gulped. 

  
  


“I don’t know how it’s a good thing when I haven’t slept in days, and i’m sweating when it’s not even hot and I feel like, if we don’t win, it’s going to be all my fault…” Ryder heard Marley say. Her voice sounded broken and weak and Ryder shook his head. Of course it wouldn’t be her fault. If they were to lose, it would be due to Ryder’s selfishness.. His need to be in the spotlight… His need to beat Jake and prove himself. But would it be worth it? In the end, he’d wanted to prove himself to Marley and Jake. Show them that he’s more than good enough. But he wanted Marley to be happy… He sighed.

  
  


“And i’m gonna let you all down, Finn, the graduates, my mom…”

  
  


Ryder stepped out from behind the curtain. “Jake you got a second?” Both Marley and Jake looked up at him in surprise.

  
  


“Can’t it wait?” Jake answered, clearly annoyed. Ryder shook his head. “Not really, I need you to take the dance lead.” Ryder said seriously and fiddled with the end of his coat, not really knowing how the two of them would react. When Jake didn’t answer, Ryder took a few steps closer to his friends. “I think I sprained my ankle during warmups.” He lied, trying to keep eye contact with Jake, knowing that if he looked away, there would be no chance of Jake believing him. 

  
  


“You’re not limping, what’s going on?” Okay, he was a worse liar than he thought. 

  
  


Ryder then took a hold of Jake’s coat and pulled him away from Marley. “Look… It was really cool what you did, helping me with the dance and stuff, but a few days of rehearsal doesn’t make me as good as you” Ryder said honestly as his hands were starting to shake. He hated confrontation. He hated the fact that by trying to not let Marley down, he was kind of letting Jake down. He just hoped that he could see what he was trying to do. And of course he could. Jake was the smartest guy he knew.

  
  


Ryder watched as Jake looked back at Marley, making her blush. That made Ryder look down at his shoes, not wanting to interfere with their interaction. He was however, forced to look back up as Jake said: “Okay” and pulled him into a short hug. “Good luck. You’re gonna be amazing” he felt Jake whisper in his ear. Then Marley and Jake walked away hand in hand, leaving a flustered Ryder behind. 

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


“Hello?”

  
  


“Hey - Can you hear me? It’s kinda loud out here.” And yes, yes Blaine could hear him. Kurt. His Kurt. Kurt had actually called him. Blaine was walking away from the crowd and found a quiet place where he could talk to Kurt. 

  
  


“Um... Yeah - Yeah I can hear you” Blaine answered, after a few seconds. He tried to speak as softly as possible, not trusting his own voice, even though he wanted to scream and ask a million questions at the same time. But he couldn’t. It would just chase him away… Make him hang up. Make him go away. 

  
  


“Have you guys performed yet?” Kurt asked, his voice sounding confident and smooth. He sounded like Kurt. The Kurt he remembered. Not the Kurt he left that night... All shattered.

  
  


“Um no, not yet” Blaine answered. “Kurt, I just want you to know that no matter-”

  
  


“Just let me talk for a second…” Kurt interrupted and Blained gasped a bit, not used to Kurt being so straight up with him. 

  
  


“Look you’ve said you’re sorry a million times and I believe you, and i’m trying to forgive you but….” But… There was always a but. “I’m just not there yet... But it’s Thanksgiving and and it’s Sectionals and I miss you like crazy...” Fuck. Shit. _I miss you too_ , Blaine wanted to shout at him. He wanted to beg him to come to Ohio, to hold him, to kiss him… To be his again. “...And I can’t stand not talking to you even though i’m mad at you… Cause you’re still my best friend” Kurt finished and Blaine’s heart was beating like crazy. He placed a hand on his chest, just above his heart, wanting to hide the noise it was making, as if the beating was prominent enough to actually be heard out loud and through the phone. He tightened his grip on the phone, his hand sweaty and shook his head, trying to gather himself. He waited a few seconds, then took a deep breath… _Come on, say something Blaine._

“You’re mine too”

  
  


_Great. That’ll make him feel better_. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something that sounded a bit more clever, but nothing came out. Then Kurt continued to talk. “At christmas we need to have a mature heart-to-heart… Maybe we can go ice skating and get some hot chocolate.” What… Really? Blaine gulped and held onto the ladder he was standing by, afraid to fall over. Would he really be seeing Kurt at christmas? It was no secret it had been killing him, not having his soulmate with him for this holiday, so the promise of getting to see him… Comfort him, make him laugh… Hold him even… in a few weeks time… that was almost to much to handle. Could it really be true?

  
  


“So.. We’re really gonna see each other at christmas?” Blaine asked, this time not hiding the excitement in his voice. The excitement dropped however, when a few seconds of silence gave him time to reflect.

  
  


“Yeah” Kurt almost sounded… Hesitant. Careful? Blaine then decided that he didn’t dare to say another word, afraid he would ruin everything. “Well…” Kurt continued “Don’t let any of those hideous Warblers win, alright…? Break a leg. Happy Thanksgiving.” 

  
  


Huh? Warblers? Oh yeah… Sectionals. Blaine took a deep breath, wanting to say something clever, something that would confort Kurt, but Kurt wishing him good luck brought him back to reality, to why he was here, backstage. They were going to sing, going to beat… the hideous… Warblers. Blaine gulped, a certain tall man clouding his thought process. 

  
  


“Happy Thanksgiving.” Blaine went with, feeling that it was the safest thing to answer. But Sebastian couldn’t leave his mind. He could still see... him, his walk, his eyes and hear his talk and feel his arms wrapped around his body. Arms that was wrapped around him to comfort him, to make him feel better… No! He couldn’t think like that… “Kurt I love you so much” _Fuck, no he hadn’t meant to…_

  
  


“I love you too” He heard Kurt whisper back and then a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding escaped the prison of his lungs and tears started to run down his cheeks. Kurt was the first who hung up, which probably was a good thing, because as soon as Blaine had put his phone in his pocket, a sob escaped his lips and he hugged himself tightly. 

  
  


“Now this is the second time I’ve caught you crying in the matter of weeks.” Blaine heard a voice behind him say. Sebastian. He didn’t turn around. He couldn’t. This is exactly what he had been trying to avoid all day. Well, he obviously hadn’t expected Kurt to call and make him… cry, but nevertheless, he wanted to avoid Sebastian, wanted to avoid having to talk about the last time they met up. 

“Come on Killer, we weren’t that bad.” Blaine snorted and his lips curled a bit. Sebastian seemed to always know what to say. He seemed to have understood that Blaine wasn’t in the right mindset to talk about… well why he had been crying, why he had run away and why he had been ignoring the taller Warbler.

Blaine turned around and after taking just one look at Sebastian, he already knew that it had been a mistake to do so. Blaine’s head had already been spinning before Kurt even called him. But now, a wave of emotions were running through him and then he turned around to find Sebastian, staring at him, with a distant hazy look in his green eyes... He was sweaty, probably from his performance, and he was standing much closer than Blaine had anticipated. 

  
  


Blaine tried to look anywhere but Sebastian’s eyes, but that just made him notice that he wasn’t fully dressed… Well, he was dressed, but not in his uniform. He still wore his pants, but the blazer and tie weren’t to be found anywhere and his shirt was untucked and slightly unbuttoned at the top. He looked… like he had just been caught making out with someone. Had he?

  
  


Finally Blaine looked up. He shouldn’t have though. Look down, Blaine thought. But he couldn’t. Something was forcing him to look up and into Sebastian’s eyes and then down at his lips… They didn’t look chapped or swollen. Blaine bit down on his own lower lip and took a step back, leaning against the wall behind him.

  
  


“Are you alright?” He heard Sebastian’s voice ask. It was so different to Kurt’s. Kurt’s voice was soft, gentle. Kurt was soft. Kurt was good. Sebastian’s voice was raspy and piercing. Sebastian’s stare was piercing. He was bad… But he acted.. good? It made Blaine feel good.  _ He  _ made Blaine feel good. “I’m not sure” he answered truthfully and then felt a hand on his hip. He gasped. Sebastian was now standing right in front of him, his body not quite pressed against Blaine’s but close enough. Blaine could just lean forward and capture Sebastian’s lips with his own, giving him an excuse to look that devilishly disheveled.

  
  


Blaine looked into Sebastian’s eyes, not daring to break eye contact now. He seemed… Distant? That was really bizarre, Blaine decided, because Sebastian always seemed very dangerously present, very in the moment, with an (annoying) ability to ground everyone around him. And he seemed a bit too brave also… Obviously Sebastian had flirted with him in the past. But it had all been talk. But now Sebastian was standing a few centimetres away from him and the hand that had rested on his hip, had found its way inside Blaine’s coat. It had tucked at Blaine’s shirt and Blaine was sure that he could have fainted when he felt Sebastian’s cold fingertips trail along his abdomen to his hip bone. What was he doing?

  
  


“Blaine - I really want to…”

  
  


“Blaine?” It was Sam. Shit. Blaine pushed Sebastian away from him and he pushed himself away from the wall, coughing. He looked into Sam’s eyes and blushed. How much had he seen? Sebastian disappeared pretty quickly, which caused Blaine to frown. What had he wanted? It, however, left Sam and Blaine alone. “Um… We’re on next” Sam mumbled and as Blaine was about to say something, Sam turned his back to him and left. Oh. Blaine tucked his shirt into his pants and followed his classmate onto the stage. He took his place next to Sam and was waiting for the music to start.

  
  


“Was it Sebastian?”

  
  


“What?” Blaine asked and looked at Sam, who was just staring ahead of himself.

  
  


“Did you cheat on Kurt with Sebastian?” Sam asked.

  
  


“No” Blaine answered truthfully, unfortunately having a pretty clear idea as to why Sam would ask him such a question. 

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


Blaine ran down the hallway as fast as he could. The performance had actually been pretty good… Until Marley had fainted. Now everyone was in the choir room, panicking. Blaine had offered to get a juicebox he had saved in his locker, not really knowing how else to be helpful. So he ran as fast as he could and when he rounded the corner, it wasn’t a cramping in his leg that got him to stop this time, but Sebastian Smythe. Of course, of all people, he would run straight into Sebastian.

Blaine could feel strong hands grab onto his arm, preventing him from falling. Sebastian was looking down at him, a smirk appearing on his face. “Wow there killer… What’s-”

  
  


“-Not now, Sebastian!” Blaine said and tried to untangle himself from Sebastian’s grasp.

  
  


“What? You gonna push me away again?”

  
  


With that Blaine froze and looked up at the taller man. 

  
  


“What?” He asked, confused by Sebastian’s statement. 

His hands were now comfortably resting on Sebastian’s chest, keeping a safe distance between them. Sebastian however, was still holding tightly into his upper arms. Blaine got even more confused when Sebastian let out an annoyed laugh. “Like I didn’t notice…” The taller Warbler said. “Like I didn’t notice how you pushed me away when Sam interrupted before.” Sebastian said and Blaine took a long deep breath. “Sebastian.. He wasn’t interrupting _anything_ , I’m sorry if you got that ide-” Blaine explained in a surprisingly calm manner, but was interrupted by Sebastian: “... I mean, it’s not as if I _actually_ care about how Kurt is feeling, but I would’ve guessed you _actually_ had loved him at one point.” What? Blaine had loved him. He  _ did _ love him. What was he talking about?

  
  


“But i’m impressed of you ability to move on Blaine, I really am… I mean he looks like a hot version of a Ken Doll, even though his lips are a bit wei-

  
  


“Shut up Sebastian!” Blaine snapped, honestly tired of the conversation. 

  
  


Sebastian had tightened his grip on Blaine and it was starting to hurt. Blaine had no idea if he wanted Sebastian to shut up because he didn’t want him to talk about Sam or if he just needed for Sebastian to prove that he actually was a great guy. But he seemed weird tonight. He seemed distant and … cruel.

  
  


“...Oh, i’m sorry… Did I offend your boyfriend? Honestly Blaine, _I_ _just didn’t_ take you for such a slut” 

  
  


“I said shut up!!” Blaine yelled and felt himself push hard at Sebastian’s chest. It must have worked, because Sebastian stumbled into the lockers behind him, but Blaine didn’t get to enjoy his victory, because just a second later he felt hands around his neck and a body pressing him up against the lockers opposite the ones Sebastian had been falling into. Sebastian was looking into his eyes and Blaine tried to stare back, not wanting to blink. Sebastian wasn’t harming him, his hands weren’t tight around Blaine’s throat, but they were just holding him in place. Neither of them said anything. They just stood there, breathing heavily. Blaine wanted to say something. Wanted to tell Sebastian to go fuck himself, to go die in hell or something even worse. But he couldn’t. And when they had been standing, staring at each other for about 20 seconds, Blaine saw Sebastian’s eyes fill with tears. He was crying. Blaine opened his mouth, this time determined to do something to get him out of this and back to the choir room, but he didn’t have to. 

  
  


“Blaine?” It was Sam again. Blaine felt Sebastian’s hands leave his throat as Sam was coming around the corner. As soon as Sebastian had let him go, he ran to Sam and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him. He didn’t care about the fact that Sebastian was running away in the other direction. “What happened, are you okay?” He heard Sam ask and felt himself being pulled into a tight hug. 

  
  


“Now I am” Blaine said truthfully and allowed himself to be hugged for a few more seconds, before pulling back, looking up at his friend. 

  
  


“You wanna spend thanksgiving with me?” Blaine asked. Blaine hadn’t actually known, that he had been nervous to ask that exact question, until a weight lifted off of his shoulders when he saw Sam smile and nod his head. 

  
  


“There is nothing I would rather do” Sam answered which left Blaine grinning. _Okay, everything back to normal_ Blaine thought and looked over his shoulder. _Kind of, at least_ … 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll try to get a new chapter out as soon as possible for you guys. 
> 
> Hugs from El x


	3. I Gotta Stay High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And only when it was the sound of muffled moans and flesh slamming against flesh that filled the tiny dorm, Sebastian could close his eyes and pretend that it was dark curly hair he was pulling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... So El. Where did you go? First of all, I'm so sorry! I was allowed back at work the same day I found out that my exams at uni had changed (as in completely changed), because of the virus. Sooo I got kinda stressed out. But good news! Exams are done and now I only have to worry about work a few days a week. Don't worry, I haven't given up on this story... Or Seblaine (you'll understand when you're reading this chapter ;) Just remember it's a slowburn.)
> 
> So. I'm kinda nervous to post again. But you'll get Blam-friendship and an insight into Sebastian and Hunter's friendship.
> 
> ALSO! Thank you so much for the comments, they mean so so so much to me you have no idea. Thank you so much for letting me share this story and make me feel less alone <3
> 
> Stay safe! x
> 
> WARNING for this chapter:  
> \- Drug abuse. If this is a trigger do not read!

Blaine did _not_ have a thing for Josh Hutcherson. Nope. No matter how many times Sam would eye him during the movie, he wouldn’t break. It was kind of their thing. Sam would always comment on a few guys he thought Blaine would find cute when they were watching a movie, resulting in Blaine going scarlet and Sam teasing him about it. But today, he wouldn’t break. Well… At least not while watching _this_ movie. 

  
  


It was the third movie of the day - The Hunger Games movie - It wasn’t as good as the book, Blaine thought, but it was up there. He had seen worse adaptations, that’s for sure. 

  
  


He could feel Sam eye him during the kissing scene and instead of giving in, saying ‘yeah sure, he’s cute’, Blaine just leaned into Sam’s side. He was very warm, even though he wasn’t wearing anything but sweats. Sam was always _so warm_. 

  
  


“You think he’s hot don’t you?” He heard Sam ask.

  
  


“Shut up you freak, I'm trying to watch the movie...”

  
  


“I think he’s hot…” He then heard his blond friend whisper and Blaine looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “What?” He asked.

  
  


“Oh come on B, I can find a guy hot without being gay you know…”

“Mm yeah I know..” Blaine mumbled and then cuddled back into Sam’s side, his eyes focused on the screen in front of them. 

  
  


“Do you think I’m hot?” Blained teased.

  
  


“No I think you’re adoooorable.” 

  
  


He gasped as he felt Sam tickle his side and it only took them a few seconds to get entangled in the freshly washed sheets, Blaine underneath Sam’s tight grip. This wasn’t exactly a new thing for them. Blaine knew that they were way too old to play fight, but sometimes, when Blaine was having a _really_ bad day, the only thing that would make him smile was Sam’s tickles. And Sam had of course figured this out a long time ago. So here they were, Sam hovering over Blaine, but it only took Blaine not being able to detangle himself from the sheets to change the mood. Suddenly Sam felt heavier and the room felt really hot. And the sheet that covered Blaine’s eyes felt tight around his head and then… He punched Sam in the chest. Maybe a bit too hard. Because Sam fell back against the headboard and coughed loudly.

  
  


“Shit - Sorry, I-”

  
  


“Damn B, I’m impressed”

  
  


“Don’t say that” Blaine whispered and crawled closer to his friend, placing a very gentle hand on the spot where he had just punched him. “Don’t say that” Blaine repeated “Violence is never.. It’s just I-”

  
  
“Shh, It’s okay, really, i’m fine”

  
  


Blaine just looked into his friend’s eyes and he had no idea how pathetic he had looked, but apparently so pathetic, that Sam had to pull him close and was now hugging him tightly. Blaine gulped and tried not to push himself away from Sam’s body. He was okay. It was just Sam. Just Sam. Soon Blaine let himself sink into Sam’s tight embrace. 

  
  


“There we go..” He heard Sam mumble into his hair. “What?” Blaine whispered into Sam’s chest and closed his eyes. Sam smelled like warm cotton and he was really _really_ warm. If he had less self control, he would’ve fallen asleep right then and there. Sam was even drawing relaxing patterns into his back and everything just felt _nice._

  
  


“You’re not tense anymore.” Sam answered. Blaine smiled. He was really glad Sam had decided to spend the night after their Thanksgiving dinner. His mother kind of forced him to, but he liked to think that Sam had wanted to stay as well. 

  
  


Blaine liked having Sam here. Especially since Blaine had no idea what was going on with Sam. Every time Blaine had tried to talk about Sam’s home situation, his taller friend had changed the subject. And Blaine had respected that. He knew that Sam would talk when he was ready. But he was getting worried. Even though Blaine didn’t actually _know_ whether or not Sam was living in his car, it was still getting pretty cold in Ohio and it couldn’t be safe.. It surely couldn’t. 

  
  


“A penny for your thoughts?”

  
  


“What happened with you and your dad?”

  
  


“What...?”

  
  


“- I mean… What I mean is… Why aren’t you living with your dad anymore?”

  
  


“Blaine…” he heard the other man say and then felt the grip around him losen. Blaine pulled away and looked up at his friend, who desperately was trying to avoid his gaze. 

  
  


“Sam… Im serious. What’s going on?” Blaine tried again and this time he felt his friend take a deep breath before actually speaking. 

  
  


“Look, don’t blame my folks, okay? They have no idea. It’s just… Remember that my dad promised to live here with me here until graduation? Well… I could tell that he was unhappy, and so was mom. And Stevie and Stacey… No kid should be without their dad for so long. So I told him to go live with them again.”

  
  


Blaine was shocked. Even though he kind of knew. He was still shocked when the words actually left his friend’s lips. He was also angry. Not at Sam or his parents, but at himself, for not actually stepping in, when he had a feeling. No one should live in… their car? Especially when it’s starting to get _this_ cold outside. Blaine frowned and shook his head.

  
  


“But Sam, where do they think you live? They surely aren’t allowing you to live in your car.” Blaine stated.

  
  


“Um- No, they’re not.” Sam mumbled. “Um, they actually think I live here - With your family.” 

  
  


“What?” Now Blaine was even more confused. Why him? “Don’t get mad. It’s just… My parents always talked so highly about your mother. Something about her calling them, when we had that… um... money problem. And anyway, she was offering to help with anything, looking after the kids, whatever. So I told them that I had asked her if I could stay with you guys until the end of year at least.” Sam explained and had now fully removed himself from Blaine and the bed. “Look I’m sorry okay? I know it was very inappropriate of me and I’m just going to go now”

  
  


“No! No you’re not! Sam!” Blaine said and rushed off the bed to grab a hold of his beet-red friend. “Sit down, please?” and they did. Sam was still avoiding Blaine’s eyes and Blaine didn’t try to force him to make eye contact. He knew Sam was a proud guy and was probably feeling really embarrassed. Blaine placed a hand of Sam’s shoulder. “Dude, I know nothing I say right now can make you feel less embarrassed. But it’s okay… Really. And now that you’ve told me, you can finally stop living in your car.”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“Well - I’m _obviously_ not allowing you to stay in your car. I can ask my mom if you can stay here, in Coopers old room. He’s never home anyway.” Blaine said truthfully and finally his friend turned his head to look at him.

“Blaine, you really don’t ha-”

  
  


“Yes I do. And you can’t argue with me, I won’t allow it.” 

  
  


And all he got in response was a tight hug from his blond friend. Blaine smiled into Sam’s shoulder and hugged him back. “And I’m really glad that you were honest with me Sam, I know it’s not something that’s easy to talk about” Blaine explained into his friend’s shoulder and felt Sam hug him even tighter, before releasing him. 

  
  


“Well - Since we _are_ being honest with each other and all that… What’s going on with you and Sebastian?” Sam asked, sounding like he had giving this topic a bit of thought before. Blaine decided that he deserved a well thought-out answer.

  
  


“Well, it started that day when I went to Dalton to get our trophy back. The new captain, Hunter, and the rest of the Warblers asked if I wanted to rejoin the Warblers.” Blaine saw the look of horror appear on Sam’s face so he shook his head, trying to show his friend that he obviously was going to stay put. “Don’t worry, it has nothing to do with that. Let’s just say I kind of freaked out… About Kurt and stuff. Being back there, were I fell in love with him. It all just got to be too much. And I allowed Sebastian to comfort me for a few seconds. And since then, it has honestly just been incidents.” Blaine said, knowing that it was only the half truth. “What I’m trying to say is… Nothing is going on.”

  
  


Sam offered him an apologetic smile and Blaine wasn’t sure as to why. “You’re still in love with Kurt?” Ah, that’s why. “Yeah…” Blaine whispered and looked at Sam’s hand that had found its way into his own. 

  
  


Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted their conversation and a tiny brunette woman opened the door. “Hello boys” said the curly haired woman. 

  
  


“Mom… there’s something Sam and I have to discuss with you”

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


Sebastian was on the floor, his bed on the right side of him, Hunter’s bed on the left. He was tired. And angry. And hungry. And horny. And lonely. Normal emotions right? Normal emotions for a normal person. There was nothing to get all worked up about. But Sebastian hated not having control. And he was starting to feel as if his emotions were taking control of him instead of the other way around. The first sign of this had been the… incident with Blaine. He would love to say, that him almost allowing himself to… _kiss_ Blaine, had been something that he had _decided_ would be a good idea. But it hadn’t been like that. And then Sam showed up and interrupted them and _exposed_ Sebastian at the same time. He had felt as if Sam had looked right through clothes and flesh and had seen his deepest darkest desires.

  
  


It annoyed him. Especially since Hunter had claimed that the injections would’ve made him level headed, focused. It had worked wonders for a while. Until his skin started to itch and it felt as if bees were crawling underneath his skin, trying to escape. But then Hunter would make it all go away again and he would feel good for a couple of days.

  
  


Hunter was his… Friend. Hunter took care of him in a way no one ever had. Hunter made sure that Sebastian would look his best and be his best. Sometimes even feel his best. Sometimes Sebastian’s heart would break and Hunter was there to mend the pieces. Sometimes Sebastian got jealous of the girls Hunter brought back to their (shared, mind you) room after a night out. And then Hunter would remind him what their friendship consisted of. And then a tiny piece of his heart would break, until Hunter needed him again. Of course Sebastian had tried to resist and push the older man away. But Hunter could make him feel so _wanted._ And Hunter was good for him, he kept telling himself. Hunter took care of him and anyone would be a fool to throw away that kind of affection. Even if it hurt sometimes. But then again, Sebastian knew that there was no such thing as pure affection. It had to hurt to feel this good. 

  
  


It was the same deal with family, really. It hurt that his parents had split up when Sebastian had been a very young boy. But then again, the yelling and fighting had stopped. And his mother had spent more time with him after that. It hurt when his mother moved to France, but then Sebastian went to live with her for a few years. It hurt when he had to leave France to go to school in the states, but he was glad to see his father again. The fact that his father had trouble accepting what he called “a lifestyle” hurt. But it warmed his heart when he was trying. And he was glad that his dad had found a european woman who was sweet and caring, but it hurt that he wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her and her kids. It wasn’t like Sebastian hadn’t been invited. He just… couldn’t. Going to France to spend Thanksgiving with his mom and sister was a tradition. And not doing so had hurt his mother. He could still remember how her voice had been shaking over the phone. That’s when Sebastian decided to tell his dad that he wasn’t going to be joining them, because he felt like he would be betraying mom. He had been honest. For the first time in his life he had been completely honest with his dad. He had also been honest when he had asked permission to spend Thanksgiving with his mother alone. But his father had refused to pay. That’s how he ended up at Dalton during Thanksgiving break.

  
  


He crawled onto his bed, feeling rather sorry for himself. He pulled off his t-shirt and threw it at Hunter’s bed. He wouldn’t be here until after the break anyways. Dressed in a pair of sweats, he crawled under his covers and tried to get comfortable. He might as well sleep and see if he would feel better after a nap. No point in being awake when he was just feeling so… uncomfortable in his own skin. He ran a hand through his already messy hair and when he closed his eyes, determined to get some sleep, the door to his room cracked open and if had had just a tiny bit of energy, he had actually cared about who was entering his room.

  
  


“Now… What is my favourite Warbler doing here, all alone?” He heard Hunter ask. Couldn’t he _see_ that he was sleeping? Rude. Sebastian wasn’t surprised. “And why has he made our room a complete mess? Honestly Sebastian, you’re lucky to have me, otherwise I wouldn’t dare to think of what would become of you…”

  
  


“I would be able to sleep peacefully I presume?”

  
  


“Ah, he _is_ awake”

  
  


“Piss off.”

  
  


“There, there Sebastian, no need to be rude, especially since we’re each other’s only company the rest of Thanksgiving break it looks like” Sebastian opened his eyes to find that Hunter had changed out of his trousers and was also swabbing his shirt for the white t-shirt Sebastian had thrown on his bed a few moments earlier. Sebastian couldn’t help but just look at the man. He really truly was beautiful. 

  
  


Sebastian sat up against the headboard behind him and licked his lips. Obviously Hunter was a handsome man, everyone would notice that from a mile away. But it were only very few people who got to see him like Sebastian had, all messy and not to mention - naked. When he went to catch Hunter’s eyes, he found the other man was already staring back at him. And he wasn’t in the process of putting on the t-shirt anymore, he had tossed that back on the bed. Oh God, how long had Sebastian been staring at his roomate? He could feel the heat rise to his cheeks and his eyes quickly focused on his own hands resting in his lap. 

  
  


“Ah, so you _have_ missed me?” Hunter smirked. Sebastian rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at his friend. “Piss off.” Sebastian answered again, which made Hunter raise his eyebrows. “Hey hey hey Mr. Smythe, when did your mouth get so dirty?” Hunter asked and this time it was Sebastian who was left smirking. _Come on now Hunter, this is just too easy._

  
  


“Hm, since I started sucking your dick I presume” 

  
  


“Sebastian Smythe, I am shocked by your language! What? Too tired out from having to call your dad sir all of yesterday? Or say ‘please’ after every sentence?” Hunter teased, his back to Sebastian. He had started folding some clothes on the bed and Sebastian just kept quiet. He didn’t want to tell Hunter about the fact that he hadn’t been with his family for Thanksgiving, for several reasons actually. First of all, the tone of their conversation had switched to light fun banter and Sebastian loved it. The rest of the Warblers had trouble figuring out why Sebastian wanted to be friends with this man. First they had obviously just figured that Sebastian wanted to have sex with him, considering his looks, but then they all heard that Hunter wasn’t ‘remotely bi-curious’ which just confused them. But Hunter was actually quite pleasant to be around. And he was funny. Really funny. Second of all, it was honestly just pretty embarrassing to admit that he had spent Thanksgiving alone, reading for school and eating holiday edition pop tarts and chocolate.

  
  


“Seb?”

  
  


But he couldn't lie to Hunter. He knew that. Not that he hadn’t tried, oh he had. But either Hunter caught him in the lie right away or ignored him for days if he had been caught in one later on. And he hated when Hunter ignored him. 

  
  


“I wasn’t - I wasn’t with my family this year. Um - You know my dad’s new girlfriend, Emily, yeah she hasn’t ever had a Thanksgiving before so he celebrated it with her. But you know we’re always with my mom in France and I - I wanted to go be with her, but he wouldn’t pay for my ticket and I didn’t want to tell my mom that, ‘cause then they would end up fighting, and... I just. I’m babbling, I’m sorry” Sebastian mumbled.

  
  


“He’s a dickhead” Hunter said simply.

  
  


“You don’t have to be ni-”

  
  


“Yes Seb. Look.” Hunter said and sat down at the foot of Sebastian’s bed. “He’s a fool for not wanting to spend Thanksgiving as a family in the first place” Hunter said as a matter of fact and reached out to hold Sebastian’s hand “And then he’s absolute trash for not wanting _you_ to have a great Thanksgiving anyway. Where were you - Here?”

  
  


Sebastian nodded.

  
  


“That is _not_ okay Sebastian, if anything like this ever happens again, please just.. call me or something?” Sebastian was shocked. He knew that Hunter was a sweeter guy than he had build himself up to be in front of the Warblers, but this just had him lost for words. So he just smiled. 

  
  


“Don’t you smile like that Smythe”

  
  


“Why not?”

  
  


“Because I want to kiss you when you smile like that. And you know I’m not even remotely bi-curious”

  
  


“Yeah I know - You’re completely gay”

  
  


Hunter gasped and then launched forward, tickling Sebastian’s sides, until Sebastian found himself straddled by his roommate. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before Hunter had engulfed Sebastian in hungry kisses. He tasted like coffee. He always tasted like coffee. And then he always just smelled of soap, unless he had just woken up. Then he smelled like their room, which had become a very comforting scent for Sebastian. He ran his fingertips down Hunter’s spine as the other man was leaving wet kisses down his neck.

  
  


“Mm, always so tense Seb.” Hunter mumbled and Sebastian had to open his eyes. He _knew_ where this was going. “I’ve got something to help you relax a little, baby boy.” He then heard against his neck. He gulped. _Baby boy._ That was something Hunter called him when he wanted to persuade him to do something. Baby boy had become a comfort for Sebastian as well, even though he hated to admit it. It made him feel special. Wanted. But he was confused. He thought Hunter used up his stash for Sectionals?

  
  


“You got some?” He asked and could feel Hunter smirk into his skin. He then felt the warmth disappear as Hunter leaned back and was now sitting on Sebastian's lap, looking down at him. “Did you really think I would be coming back to Dalton without anything?” He asked and Sebastian just rolled his eyes playfully as Hunter went to look for _it._ It being… Well. Drugs. 

  
  


“Hunt..”

  
  


“Yeah?” Hunter asked, not looking up from where he was standing, roaming around his overnight bag.

  
  


“Can we…” _fool around without being high?_ No. Fool. How stupid did he sound? Oh God. Sebastian swallowed loudly, making sure that _that_ question travelled down to his stomach with the rest of his spit. “Nevermind” he ended up saying, as Hunter turned around, a small bag of.. pills.. in his hands. 

  
  


“Pills?”

  
  


“Don’t worry - They’re safe.” Hunter said as he straddled Sebastian’s lap again. Sebastian couldn’t help but relax a bit as he saw his friend grinning down at him. But the worry must still be showing on his face, because a few seconds later Hunter continued “Don’t look so worried Seb, here.” Hunter said and placed a tiny pill in Sebastian’s palm. Sebastian didn’t look at it. He couldn’t. He should probably though, trying to figure out what colour it was, at least. Just to be safe. But then again, maybe it was better not knowing.

  
  


“Just trust me _baby boy_ .” There it was again. Baby boy. He watched as the other man swallowed the pill and took the pill in Sebastian’s hand. As Hunter went to put it in his mouth, Sebastian was trying to protest - It _surely_ wouldn’t be safe to take two? But he didn’t get the chance to do so. 

  
  


He felt warm lips press tighty against his own and he closed his eyes. When he felt teeth nipple at his lips he obeyed the silent question and parted his lips, making way for Hunter’s warm tongue to press against his own. Without really having time to think about it, he had swallowed the pill. And after a few minutes he was glad he had, because everything felt so _fucking good._ Hunter kissing him like there was no tomorrow and his hard heat between Sebastian’s legs, melting the two men together.

  
  


And only when it was the sound of muffled moans and flesh slamming against flesh that filled the tiny dorm, Sebastian could close his eyes and pretend that it was dark curly hair he was pulling.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter guys! 
> 
> It's not the best... But it's leading up to the next couple of chapters (I'm really excited for chapter 5 and 6 ;)) 
> 
> Stay safe! x


	4. I Will Wait For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have a crush on Jake?”
> 
> “I think so… But does that… Does that mean i’m gay? I don’t feel gay. How do you feel gay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here’s a short cute chapter for you. 
> 
> It’s not the best chapter, but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway… Next chapter is out now as well.
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- Self harm.  
> \- Mentions of self harm / self harm tendencies.
> 
> Stay safe x

“I just don’t understand why my room is back to look the same it did when I was 18… No, wait a minute, my taste was  _ way  _ more mature and tasteful when I was, like, 14.” Cooper complained as he was pointing at Sam’s stuff that was scattered around his old room. Blaine and their mother were standing in the doorway. Their arms crossed over their chests and their heads slightly tilted to the right. 

  
  


“Oh don’t you look at me like that” Cooper told the two of them and threw a pillow at Blaine, which just resulted in the younger Anderson laughing.

  
  


“What can I say Coop? You’re acting like a 6 year old. No worse, a 12 year old Rachel Berry. Besides, this is Sam’s room now, that is why his stuff is in here. And sure, it does look like a teenager at a summer camp has mov-”

  
  


“Thank you!” Cooper answered, which resulted in a glare from their mother.

  
  


“- But it’s  _ his  _ room and he can do with it what he wants.” Blaine finished which made him earn a proud smile from their mother. Cooper snorted and shook his head. He couldn’t believe this. 

  
  


“So everytime I’m home-”

  
  


“Hah!” Blaine heard their mother laugh “ _ Everytime _ you’re home?” She continued. “Cooper dear, you know I love you and you’re always welcome back home. But it’s christmas and you could barely make it home.” Their mother said and Blaine had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. Obviously not laughing about the fact that Cooper was never home… But he did enjoy the fact that their mother had to tell his older brother off… A man who was in fact, in the middle of his twenties.

  
  


He was glad that Cooper was home. He had missed him. But truth be told, he missed Sam too. Sam had only been with his own family for two days, but Blaine couldn’t wait for his blond friend to come back home.  _ Home.  _ He liked that he and Sam shared a home. Like real brothers. And real brothers they had been. Sam had been more of a brother to him than Cooper had. Even when Blaine tried to call Cooper to talk about his breakup, he hadn’t picked up. It was only when the breakup was announced on facebook, that his brother wrote him a ‘what’s up?’. But he didn’t blame Cooper. Blaine knew that he was busy. But he was also angry with him. Though he knew his anger was a result of him missing Cooper. Which was why Blaine just enjoyed having him home for now. That also meant, that he didn’t have to make a big fuss about himself and his breakup with Kurt. 

  
  


And that was a good thing. The breakup was not something that he exactly liked to be reminded of. But he was. Constantly. But for good reason, honestly. Kurt had been texting him ever since their conversation at Thanksgiving. He brought up their soon to be ‘heart to heart’ almost everyday and that had made Blaine unable to think about anything else. He was a nervous wreck, but rather be a nervous wreck than not hearing from Kurt at all, he had thought. He had tried to talk to Sam about the upcoming ‘heart to heart’, wanting to get his perspective on all of it, but in the end he hadn’t dared to. And then Sam went home for christmas and it was too late. 

  
  


Today he was particularly nervous, since Kurt had texted him this morning, asking if it was okay if he came by later for some coffee. Blaine had  _ known _ what that meant. The fact that Kurt was coming over later, was the reason why he was in Sam’s room at the very moment, distracting himself by listening to Cooper complaining. He had no idea how he was going to be able to talk about their breakup, their future… the cheating. Kurt would ask him why he did it and Blaine would have to answer truthfully.. An answer he knew Kurt wasn’t going to like. An answer he knew would  _ hurt _ his former boyfriend and Blaine could just imagine Kurt’s face. He imagined the same face Kurt had pulled the night he found out - Confused, angry, broken… Blaine  _ hated _ himself for making Kurt look like that. 

  
  


“Earth to Blaine…” He heard Cooper say.

  
  


“Sorry.” Blaine mumbled and shortly after he felt a hand on his shoulder. Cooper. He looked up at his big brother who was now standing very close to him. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been there Blainey” Cooper said and Blaine just shook his head and moved away. He really wanted, no,  _ needed _ , a hug. But he just knew that he would break down if he actually were to hug his brother, and their mother was still in the room, a woman he had vowed to never worry. 

  
  


“It’s fine… Honestly. He’s actually coming over here soon… Eh, to talk” Blaine said. 

  
  


“He is?” Their mother asked, not sounding particularly happy about that information. Blaine nodded slowly, not really knowing what else to say or do. 

  
  


“Well that’s great!” Cooper said, breaking the awkward silence. And just as Blaine felt himself calm down a bit, the doorbell chimed and Cooper offered him a reassuring grin. It didn’t help, but it was nice to know that Cooper was happier about the idea than their mother had been. “I’ll get it.” She said and Blaine hurried into his own room. 

  
  


When Blaine got to his own room, just opposite of what was now Sam’s room, he had no idea what to do with himself. He thought Kurt wouldn’t be here for at least another hour. God, was this just something he wanted to get over and done with? Well of course it was. So did Blaine. But then again, being in this limbo of emotion, this unsolved  _ thing  _ between them, left Blaine with a small amount of hope, that for sure wouldn’t be there when they had talked. He knew that Kurt would take away the last bit of hope he had held onto since Thanksgiving. 

  
  


Blaine decided sitting would be a good idea. On his bed. Yeah, sitting on his bed. With a book in his hand. Looking relaxed. Not looking as if he was forcing himself to relax. No, why would he do that? Blaine grabbed his copy of  _ One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest  _ and jumped onto his bed. He knew this book inside and out and Kurt knew that it was his favourite. He wouldn’t question it. So instead of looking up when the door to his bedroom opened, he kept his eye pierced on a random page of the book. Kurt would address him when he entered, as he always did.

  
  


“Blaine…?” 

  
  


Except it wasn’t Kurt’s voice. It was…

  
  


“Ryder?” Blaine asked, looking up confused. What was Ryder doing here? “What are you doing here?” Blaine asked and crooked his eyebrows. He watched as the younger man smiled at him. “Good to see you too.” Ryder joked and pulled at the hem of his shirt. Ryder didn’t do anything. He just stood there, by the door, looking as if he had killed someone. He almost looked … nervous? Blaine threw the book aside and went to stand. “Sorry.” He muttered with a half laugh, releasing some of the tension that had built in his body just seconds before. 

  
  


“It’s good to see you too Ryder, eh - Sit down, I guess? You want anything, coffee, tea?” Blaine asked, not really used to playing the host.

  
  


“No, it’s alright really.” Ryder said and went to sit on Blaine’s bed. Blaine followed Ryder’s movement closely and sat down next to his friend. Ryder still looked nervous. And kind of uncomfortable. 

  
  


“So, I need some, um, advice, I guess?” Ryder mumbled and Blaine watched as the other man painfully was trying to tell him what was going on. Blaine noticed that Ryder was scratching his own wrist, a habit Blaine also had adopted when it came to him being nervous or scared. Blaine reached out and grabbed Ryder’s wrist. “Hey” He said softly and smiled at the young man, trying to reassure him. What was going on? What had made Ryder act like this? And what advice could he be seeking? And why did he come to Blaine of all people… Why not just go to - Oh. This had to be about the fact that Marley and Jake were kind of dating now. Shit.

  
  


“Look, I know how it feels to like someone who might not want you back.” Blaine said softly, which only caused Ryder to look at him with big scared eyes. “But if you really are uncomfortable with Jake dating Marley because you like her too you should really ta-”

“No, no - It’s not that. It’s not about Marley… Or Jake.” Ryder whispered, placing his head in his hands and let out a low sound of frustration. Blaine placed a hand on the younger’s upper back. 

  
  


“Oh, well - What’s going on?”

  
  


Then Ryder removed his face from his hands and turned to look at Blaine and Blaine had to gasp. Ryder was teary-eyed. That was not something that he had expected from the younger man. Ryder for sure wasn’t the toughest of the new kids, that was kind of hard to be, when a Puckerman was part of that crew, but he was also a very private person Blaine had come to discover, and usually Ryder kept his thoughts and emotions to himself unless he thought something was really unfair. So seeing Ryder like this shocked Blaine. Not only because it was unlike him, but also because Blaine still wondered why he was even here in the first place.

  
  


“How did you know that you were gay?”

  
  


Oh. That might be why he was here. Blaine tried not to look too shocked and taken aback - That for should wouldn’t help the other man one bit. So he just took a deep breath and gave Ryder’s shoulder a tight squeeze. 

  
  


“Hm, well. I don’t know to be honest. I never really developed crushes on girls the same way my friends did and when I did start to get those feelings... The butterflies that they all were talking about, the constant need to be around that person all the time… It was a boy that made me feel all that… And then I learned what it meant to be gay and I just figured that was what I was. Not to say that it was easy figuring myself out, I still do sometimes, but I just feel comfortable using that label to define my sexuality.” Blaine said, wanting to ask a million questions, but decided that it wasn’t his place to ask questions right now. He just needed to listen. 

  
  


“Oh…” Ryder said, looking disappointed. “That’s making me really lucky, I feel” Blaine continued and Ryder now looked more confused than disappointed. “What I mean by that is I feel lucky that I identify with that, or any, label, because it makes it easier for other people to understand. But other people do not  _ need  _ to understand anything about me. I hadn't needed to label myself anything if I hadn’t felt comfortable doing so. The only thing that matters is that I feel comfortable - And the only way I can feel comfortable is allowing myself to feel what I feel and be okay with that. To know that what I feel is normal.” Blaine said and watched as Ryder was trying to make the pieces of the puzzle fit in his brain.

  
  


“I just…” Ryder finally said after a few minutes of silence. “I just..  _ don’t know.”  _ he whispered before letting tears stream down his face. Blaine scooted closer and wrapped Ryder in a tight embrace. “Shh.” Blaine whispered and stroked his hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay to not know… It’s not something that needs to be figured out before you’re comfortable doing so.” Blaine whispered and felt Ryder nod against his shoulder. He let Ryder pull away from him.

  
  


“I liked Marley. I really did.” Ryder said and ran a hand through his hair, pulling slightly. “But like… When Jake and Marley started dating I just got  _ so angry.”  _ He said. “And I don’t know how I realized this, but I kind of figured that I wasn’t angry that Jake had Marley, but that Marley had Jake. That made me so angry at both of them. But everytime I’m near Jake I just can’t be angry with him, even though I want to tell him to go to hell, I want to ki- I mean. God.”

  
  


“You have a crush on Jake?”

  
  


“I think so… But does that… Does that mean i’m gay? I don’t feel gay. How do you feel gay?”

  
  


“Ryder… Your sexuality is only a part of you, it isn’t your entire personality. You liking Jake now does not have to change anything. It certainly does not change who you are as a person. When you liked Marley, you were Ryder who liked Marley and now you’re Ryder who likes Jake. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, even though it feels like it.” Blaine said and for the first time since Ryder got here, he looked relieved. Blaine smiled at that. 

  
  


“So.. i’m not gay?”

  
  


“I can’t tell you that Ryder. But as I said, you don’t have to label yourself anything, not now, not ever, if you’re comfortable with that. And you don’t have to rush to figure out your sexuality. Not if you don’t want to. But one thing is for sure, I will always be here to help you, okay?” Blaine said and placed a hand on Ryder’s knee. Ryder grinned and this time he was the one to pull Blaine into a hug. “Thanks Blaine” Ryder whispered and Blaine blushed. 

  
  


A knock on the door led Ryder to break the hug and Blaine looked up to see who had entered and almost dropped his jaw. God, Kurt. For a few minutes he had actually happily forgot about his nerves. Forgot about the talk he was about to have. Because now Kurt was here. In his room. For the first time in God knows how long. As Ryder stood to leave, Blaine also rose from his position on the bed and only managed to wish Ryder a happy christmas when the other boy had almost already exited his room.

  
  


Now it was just them. Kurt and Blaine. Blaine and Kurt. Together. Blaine couldn’t believe it. Kurt looked even better than the last time he had seen him. Obviously he had followed along on facebook, knowing that Kurt would be the type to get a post-breakup glow up. And he had. And  _ fuck  _ he looked gorgeous. Tall, beautiful and almost… relaxed? He must really be getting comfortable in New York, because Blaine had never seen the other man look as comfortable and relaxed in his own skin as he did now. It suited him. Being in New York… Single… It suited him. Blaine swallowed the lump he had in his throat, so that he actually would be able to speak and when he was, the only thing he could think of saying was: “God i’ve missed you”, which resulted in his ex-boyfriend walking up to him, pulling him in for a tight embrace. 

  
  


Blaine closed his eyes and snaked his arms around Kurt’s neck, breathing him in. It was weird. That was his first thought. It was weird because he hadn’t been able to do this for so long and now that he was finally doing it, it felt… Well weird. Kurt didn’t smell the same, but Blaine couldn’t really blame his ex for going out buying a new cologne. But he had hoped the embrace would’ve been more familiar to him. But it wasn’t. And that made a lump in his throat appear again… God he felt guilty. But then again, just being held was a nice feeling. But he felt guilty about that too, because Kurt was the one hurting, Blaine should be the one embracing him. Blaine pulled Kurt in tighter. 

  
  


“You know, if you keeping doing that, I won’t be able to breathe soon” Kurt said and Blaine relaxed a little, letting out a tiny laugh. It was Kurt. His ex boyfriend, but also one of his best friends. He could relax around him.. He should relax around him.  _ No need to be so nervous _ . Blaine let go of him, offering a smile. 

  
  


“You look great” Kurt said and Blaine just blushed. 

  
  


“You look… Beautiful.” Because he truly did. Everything about him was just flawless. 

  
  


“Always the charmer” he heard Kurt say and watched as his ex sat down on his bed, making himself comfortable… Just like old times. Blaine gulped and sat down next to him, very carefully, not wanting Kurt to think that he was too comfortable with all of this. Because he wasn’t. There was so much that needed to be said. So much that Blaine needed to say. So much he needed to do to make up for his mistake. Sure, he had been unhappy, but he had  _ hurt  _ the person he had promised to love. Forever. He owed him an explanation, an apology. He owed Kurt to be smart and have a well planned-out explanation ready, but when it came to him actually forming a cohesive sentence that could even begin to explain what he had done, his brain went blank and the only thing he could think of saying was…

  
  


“I’m so sorry…”

  
  


“Blaine…”   
  


“No, I know I shouldn’t even be allowed to apologize after everything i’ve put you through, but I just need you to know that it’s killing me Kurt, it’s  _ killing  _ me to know that you’re hurt because of me. The one person that shouldn’t have hurt you, the one person that should’ve made sure that you were the happiest you could ever be… I’m so so  _ so  _ sorry.”

  
  


“Blaine - I was hurt. I don’t think I need to tell you how hurt I was… how hurt I kind of still am. But i’ve come to realise that I just have to move on from hurting, I can’t keep on hurting anymore. And more importantly, I can’t keep hating you, well not hate you, because you know I love you, but I need to be able to move on from this… For my own sake.”

  
  


Blaine nodded slowly, not really daring to say anything.

  
  


“...And because I miss you. I miss you like crazy and i’m scared, that me not being able to call you and talk to you is going to result in me losing you. And that’s the last thing I want.” 

  
  


Blaine stared into Kurt’s beautiful blue eyes and couldn’t help it when his own welled with tears. 

  
  


“But I still need time…” Kurt mumbled and grabbed a hold of Blaine’s hand. “I don’t trust you Blaine, and I don’t know when i’m going to trust you again. But I  _ want  _ to trust you… So badly. Because I miss you.”

Blaine nodded his head, letting the tears roll down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“Maybe… Maybe we can take things slow?” Kurt asked, leaving Blaine with a puzzled look on his face.. Was Kurt saying, what he thought he was? “I mean, I don’t want us to get back together just yet, but maybe when you come to New York after you graduate we can pick things back up, if we feel like it?” and with that Blaine felt like he could burst with happiness. Kurt hadn’t given up on him. On  _ them.  _ And the comment about Blaine moving to New York after graduation meant nothing right now, because the only thing that clouded Blaine’s mind was Kurt. Kurt, hope and love. He felt dizzy with excitement and Kurt’s blue eyes, so dizzy in fact, that he hadn’t even realized that he had leaned in and was now attacking Kurt’s mouth with his own. 

Only a few seconds into the kiss, did Blaine realize what he was doing. He, however, couldn’t pull away, because Kurt had wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck and was kissing him back.  _ Oh my God.  _ Blaine then pulled his ex boyfriend closer to his body and the familiar feeling of hunger was travelling through his him, making every kiss and touch feel warm and electric. Kurt was so soft everywhere and Blaine knew he soon had to pull away and deal with the consequences of this spontaneous action, but for now he just enjoyed the feeling of Kurt kissing him. When Kurt pulled away, Blaine was ready to apologize, but didn’t get the chance to, because the other man had placed himself in Blaine’s lap, and their mouths had already found their way back to each other again. 

  
  


Maybe they were going to be okay after all? 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … So. Do you miss Seblaine? Same. They have a reunion in chapter 5 ;)


	5. Touch Me There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you’re not dating?” Sam asked.
> 
> Blaine shook his head.
> 
> “Are you okay with that?”
> 
> “I don’t know” Blaine answered truthfully, trying to push the memory of him masturbating to the thought of Sebastian fucking Smythe to the far back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here’s chapter 5 with a Seblaine reunion and a little.. Something something ;)
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- Drugs.   
> \- Sexual content. 
> 
> Stay safe x

It was colder than it had been the day Kurt had come to see him, the day they had their  _ talk _ . But Blaine didn’t mind one bit. Not even when Kurt’s cold nose accidently brushed the side of his neck, as he felt the other man attack it was his mouth.  _ Holy fuck.  _ Kurt pressed him harder against the wall and Blaine snaked his arm around the taller man’s neck, pulling him closer.  _ Holy fucking fuck.  _ Had he told himself that he would be here, in this situation, just a month ago, he would’ve slapped himself for being silly and hopeful. But here he was. With Kurt pressing him up against the brick wall of The Lima Bean, kissing and nibbling at the skin of his neck. It was a few days after christmas and Kurt would be going back to New York tomorrow…  _ No Blaine, stop thinking about that now. You’re here with Kurt. Your Kurt. _

  
  


He pulled him closer and let out a tiny breath as Kurt kissed a spot right behind his ear. They were out of sight. Kurt had been clear about the fact that if they were to do this… Hooking up, slowly starting things again, that it would be on his terms. And honestly? Blaine didn’t mind one bit. He got why Kurt was hesitant… He was the one that.. Got cheated on. And Kurt’s terms meant not letting people know that they were hooking up. “They would just get the wrong idea.” Kurt had said. And that was probably the truth, but then again, why couldn’t Kurt have a little faith in their friends? They would for sure understand! And also, if they knew, Blaine would be able to kiss Kurt whenever he wanted, hold his hand and -  _ No, now you’re being selfish again.  _ It was the two of them for now and that was fine. If it was what Kurt needed and what Blaine needed to do to win him back it would be fine. And… It wouldn’t be forever, right? 

  
  


Blaine gulped at the thought and pulled Kurt’s face to his again. He tasted sweet and familiar and his lips were so soft, unlike Blaine’s chapped ones. Kurt had always been good at selfcare. As he felt Kurt’s tongue press against his lips, begging for entrance, he couldn’t help but smile. Kurt had never been so… Possessive before. Not that Blaine had minded. Kurt had never been as sexual as Blaine. Kurt wanted romance, craved,  _ needed  _ romance and every little touch and every little kiss meant something to him. That’s why Blaine had cherished every single time he got to touch his former lover. They were very different in that aspect, but Blaine just mostly blamed it on his own hormones. But despite their differences when it came to sexual habits, they had been a good match… Right? It had meant so much to Blaine, that Kurt had trusted him enough, for him to touch, feel and kiss every single inch of his milky white skin. But having Kurt hovering over him for a change? Blaine had never felt so wanted before. And he had never enjoyed kissing Kurt so much before, not having to feel guilty for wanting to rip his clothes off and- 

  
  


“Well, well, well. What  _ do  _ we have here?” Blaine heard a familiar raspy voice say. 

  
  


Fuck.

  
  


Kurt pulled away from him. Not just a little. But totally just pulled away, leaving Blaine flustered, hard and not least, embarrassed, against the wall. Beside him, Kurt had already pulled himself together, just looking at the direction of the voice. 

  
  


“Sebastian.” Kurt said.

  
  


Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck. Blaine didn’t look in Sebastian’s direction, too afraid of what his reaction would be to have Sebastian having caught them like this. They haven’t spoken since Sectionals and frankly, Blaine was glad. Sebastian didn’t get to get away with talking about Sam like that and… oh God, what was he going to say about Kurt. When Blaine had pulled himself off of the wall and straightened his clothes, he finally glanced in Sebastian’s direction and wasn’t prepared for what he saw. First of all, it wasn’t  _ just  _ Sebastian. It was Sebastian and Hunter what’s-his-face. Scumbag. Second of all Sebastian looked like Sebastian, but not the Sebastian he had come to know the last couple of months. But the old Sebastian. The rude Sebastian. But something was different. His eyes. Blaine couldn’t quite put a finger on what was hiding behind those glossy eyes, but something just seemed  _ off.  _

  
  


“Don’t let him trick you into paying more for his services, he isn’t worth it. Cheated on his last boyfriend or something, he might’ve caught something.” Hunter told Kurt and only then Blaine broke his eye contact with Sebastian… Or rather Sebastian broke it to slap Hunter’s arm lightly. Hunter just laughed and rolled his eyes. Blaine was speechless… Had Hunter just implied that he was…  _ selling his body _ and having a STI? Blaine wanted to say something, but then he remembered. Kurt. He looked to his former lover, who looked just as lost for words. And hurt as well… Kurt didn’t believe Hunter did he? No he couldn’t. They had just gotten back to a good place. Blaine studied Kurt. His years of being a bully victim had thankfully resulted in him having a very stern face in situations of hurt and confusion. But Kurt couldn’t lie to Blaine. Blaine knew him too well. And he was confused, and hurt and Blaine just wanted to make it all better. 

  
  


He reached out to grab his hand, but Kurt pulled away. Ouch. Before Blaine even had the chance to lose face he put his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat. He stared at the ground, but could feel Sebastian’s eyes on him. He didn’t dare look. Not that he needed to… He could feel Sebastian’s eyes burning through his skin and he knew that if he looked up and at Sebastian’s face he would find a mix between pity and smugness… and he had no idea what would be worse. 

  
  


“Aw, who’s this Sebastian? Your boyfriend? Well I think it’s great you finally found someone who’d stick around and not just stick it in.” He heard Kurt say and then looked up to find Sebastian scowling.

  
  


“You’re just jealous that I can get some. Honestly I wasn’t surprised that Blaine went out and found someone else.” Sebastian spat back.

  
  


“I thought you were done with bullying other people Sebastian.” Blaine answered, taking a step forward, defending Kurt. 

  
  


Hunter let out the biggest sigh Blaine had ever heard in his life, followed by an “i’m bored”. Kurt took this as his opportunity to pick more at Sebastian. “You heard your boyfriend. He’s bored.” 

  
  


“He’s  _ not-” _

  
  


“Blaine please tell... Kurt, was it...? what we told you that day at Dalton. I’m not even remotely bi-curious” Hunter told them, before heading towards the entrance of the coffee shop. 

  
  


Now Blaine could feel Kurt’s eyes on him too. He  _ knew  _ what Kurt was wondering about. What he wanted to ask him, but he also knew that Kurt expected him to tell the truth, not holding anything back, even if it was going to hurt him. Kurt had always been like that. He hated having to find things out, instead of being told. That’s why the cheating had hurt him too.. Because Blaine had kept it a secret, had kissed him,  _ loved  _ him, all while keeping this secret. Blaine had been a fraud.

  
  


Sebastian knew what Kurt was thinking, knew what Blaine was thinking, otherwise he wouldn’t have stayed, wouldn't have said: “Well Killer, do you want me to tell him what happened or do you want the pleasure?” Sebastian asked and Blaine could  _ hear  _ his smirk. Blaine stared at him with cold eyes. Tell him what? About Dalton, the song, the hug, the almost-kiss. No. It didn’t mean anything. Sebastian had to  _ know _ that it didn’t mean anything.

  
  


“Nothing has happened Sebastian. Please stop messing with Kurt.” Blaine said and was impressed by how calm he sounded, when he, in reality, wanted to punch that smirk off of Sebastian’s face. 

  
  


“Suit yourself.” he heard the taller man say before he moved passed them, probably following Hunter into The Lima Bean. 

  
  


Blaine turned and reached out to grab Kurt’s hands again. This time he didn’t pull away. And this time he didn’t look angry. He just looked hurt and exhausted. Blaine wanted to kiss that look off of his face, but decided that now wasn’t the time. Instead he removed his hands from Kurts’ and instead cradled his face between his hands, forcing Kurt to look at him. “I’m telling the truth Kurt. Please believe m-”

  
  


“I do believe you” 

  
  


Oh. That was an answer he hadn’t expected. He had even prepared a speech about how much he hated Sebastian in his head. “It’s just… He makes me uncomfortable, that’s all. And I get jealous, which isn’t fair since we aren’t together anymore.”

  
  


Blaine gulped. It wasn’t as if he needed a reminder about them not being together anymore. But he understood Kurt’s frustration. He nodded slowly, removing his hands from Kurt’s face. Kurt smiled at him. It was a small smile. No teeth. No spark in his eyes. “Let’s go get some coffee.” Kurt said and spun to walk towards The Lima Bean. 

  
  


“You know we don’t  _ have  _ to drink our coffee here... We can go back to my place or-”

  
  


“No. No it’s alright. Sebastian and his… not-boyfriend, does not get to decide where I drink my coffee.” And Blaine had to agree with him, so he followed him into the café, having to remember that now he couldn’t hold Kurt’s hand, or kiss him, or do anything of the things he wanted to do. Because  _ they weren’t together. _

  
  


As they entered the coffee shop, Blaine groaned, because  _ that line is fucking huge _ and he just  _ needed _ a cup of coffee. Scratch that. A bowl of coffee. And maybe some aspirin. And if it wasn’t bad enough already, the last person in the line was Sebastian. Of course. Blaine made a quick decision.

  
  


“Go find us somewhere to sit.” He told Kurt, wanting to shelter him from Sebastian’s bullying. He also needed to talk to Sebastian alone. But that wasn’t the reason he had sent Kurt to find them a place to sit. But as he did, Blaine walked up to Sebastian and noticed someone staring at him from the opposite side of where Kurt had walked to. Hunter. 

  
  


“You know it’s really hard to have a conversation with you, when you’ve got your guard dog with you all the time.”

  
  


“You’re the one to talk.”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“I mean, i’m kind of surprised that Sam isn’t here. Does Kurt know that you’re fucking him?”

  
  


Blaine was shocked. He hadn’t meant to continue this… fight that was going on between them. He honestly just wanted things to be, well, at least civil, between them. And he wanted Sebastian to leave Kurt alone too. And to not tell him about their... incidents. When Blaine was about to open his mouth to tell him exactly that, Sebastian turned around and they were suddenly standing really close to each other. Not as close as they had been, but still closer than they should be. Blaine couldn’t help but lick his lips, which earned him a smirk from the taller man. 

  
  


“Why are you back with him?” Sebastian whispered and Blaine gasped. Sebastian sounded… small, broken even? He had never heard that raspy voice sound so genuine and it kind of took him off guard. 

  
  


“I-i’m not.” He said honestly.

  
  


“No? So you’re  _ just friends _ then?” Sebastian asked sounding almost amused.

“Yes.”

  
  


“Well if that thing you did out there is a friend thing, can I also get a piece?” Sebastian asked and took a step towards Blaine, his warm breath hitting his forehead. 

  
  


“We’re not friends.” Blaine breathed, not knowing what else to do. His heart was racing and his mind was just thinking about  _ not fucking things up with Kurt. _

  
  


Sebastian’s expression changed within seconds. “Got it.” He said. His mouth had gone from a smirk to a tight line, his eyes hard. He turned around before Blaine could study any other emotion hiding behind his eyes. Blaine bit hard on his lower lip and looked over his shoulder to find Kurt looking at his phone. Okay. Good. He didn’t bother to look at Hunter. He knew he was being watched.  __

  
  


They waited in silence until Sebastian had to order. He sounded somewhat empty. Not hurt, not angry… Just empty. Blaine wanted to reach forward and take back what he said. But he couldn’t. Partly because it was true. They weren’t friends. They could’ve been, but Sebastian had a tendency to fuck everyone Blaine actually loved and cared about over. Like Kurt. Like Sam. He couldn’t be friends with this man. 

  
  


As Sebastian pulled out his wallet to pay for he and Hunter’s coffees a small plastic bag fell out of the pocket of his jacket and onto the ground, right in front of Blaine. Blaine reached for the fallen item, only realizing what it was, when Sebastian’s hand had snatched the bag from underneath his own. He looked up at the other man with wide eyes. What the hell was he doing? Was he crazy? Did he have a deathwish? So many questions rose to Blaine’s mind, but before he had the chance to ask any of them, Sebastian looked at him with pleading eyes. 

  
  


“Don’t let Hunter know you saw that.” Sebastian whispered and within seconds he had gone down to the table, to a Hunter, that thankfully  _ finally _ looked distracted by his phone. It was Blaine’s turn to order, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened.  _ Don’t let Hunter know you saw that.  _ That wasn’t close to even just one answer for Blaine’s thousand questions. 

  
  


As Blaine joined Kurt at their table, he couldn’t help but relax a little. Kurt gave him  _ that  _ smile, that damn little smile, that was barely there, but his eyes were shining like the sun and moon combined,  _ that  _ smile would make Blaine want to rip Kurt’s clothes off, but also protect him from the world at the same time. 

  
  


“You look like you’ve seen a ghost Blaine.”

  
  


“I mean you’re  _ pretty  _ pale but I wouldn’t say  _ that  _ pale.” He teased and Kurt gasped throwing a crouton at him. “Hey!” Blaine laughed loudly and went to squeeze Kurt’s knee under the table, making him gasp and move away a little. That brought Blaine back to reality and he cleared his throat.

  
  


“Um, it was just Sebastian being a bit of a jerk.” Blaine explained and took a sip of his coffee. It was cold and way too sweet. But he had forgotten his own order at the register, so he had just ordered two of whatever Kurt used to get. 

  
  


Kurt let out a breathy laugh “A bit of? I can only imagine him being a _ huge _ jerk.”

  
  


“Kurt... I told you last summer, he isn’t that bad.” Blaine said without really thinking about it. Why was he suddenly defending Sebastian when he had been a jerk to the man he wanted to win back just minutes before?

  
  


“Oh you wanna have that fight again?” Kurt asked.

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


Sebastian had not had more than 3 sips of his own coffee when Hunter was done with his. He was too busy staring at Blaine over his shoulder. He honestly could care less about what Hunter thought or what Kurt would think if he caught him staring. He just wanted Blaine to return his gaze, just once, just so Sebastian had the tiniest idea of what he was thinking. His palms were sweaty so he dried them off in his pants, trying not to think about how fast his heart was beating. What would Blaine think? That he was some addicted junky? Because he wasn’t. Far from it actually. The pills only made him relax and he hadn’t tried it before Hunter brought some back to their dorm at Thanksgiving. He wasn’t addicted. He just liked himself better when he had taken one. That wasn’t an addiction. Plus he could stop whenever he wanted.

  
  


“You know…” He heard Hunter say. “You do realise that you’re here with me, right? It’s quite rude that you keep staring at Anderson.” 

  
  


“Shut up.” Sebastian answered simply, not removing his eyes from Blaine.

  
  


“Sebastian… Seb.” Hunter tried again and reached for Sebastian’s hand on the table. That got his attention. Sure he was used to Hunter’s touches and gestures when they were alone in their room, and his small gestures like a hand on his back when they were out in public, but this? This was new. Sebastian stared at him, then at their hands and he couldn’t bring himself to remove his hand. Hunter didn’t remove his either, Sebastian noticed, in fact he felt a small squeeze. What was he doing? “He doesn’t want you Seb.” Hunter whispered, not mockingly or to be evil. He almost sounded caring. This time Sebastian removed his hand and placed it between his thighs. “He didn’t want to rejoin the Warblers. He’s obviously trying to get back with his ex.” Hunter said and nodded his head towards Kurt and Blaine. Sebastian looked over his shoulder, only to find a Blaine who was laughing at the top of his lungs. He turned his head back to Hunter. 

  
  


“Why are you holding on to him?”

  
  


“You don’t get to know that”

  
  


“Oh, but you get to tell me.” Hunter answered and Sebastian saw how intense Hunter was watching him, not wanting to miss a single reaction. Sebastian bit down on his lower lip, stopping himself from saying something he would regret later. He didn’t know what that would be, because he honestly didn’t know what the answer was as to why he was holding on to Blaine. He hadn’t thought about it like that before. “You know I care about you… Right baby boy?”

  
  


Sebastian gulped and felt Hunter’s hand now rest on his knee underneath the table.

  
  


“Come on. Let me take care of you, let me take you home.”

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


It had started out with Blaine being curious and worried. Of course he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what happened at The Lima Bean. It had been at the forefront of his mind, even though he had been trying to enjoy his last couple of hours with Kurt. His dad was taking him to the airport early in the morning, so Kurt decided that it would be best to just say their goodbyes that afternoon. And Blaine hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Sebastian. What he was doing, if he was using, if he was selling? If he was okay... Even when he had sex with Kurt he thought about Sebastian. And not in the way that would be very bad, but in a way that made him not focus and definitely not coming. Fucking hell.

  
  


He could kill Sebastian if he wasn’t sure that he was doing that to himself already. He shook his head at that thought and pulled at his freshly washed hair. It was the first time he had sex with Kurt since way before their breakup. And he had been so beautiful and so  _ so needy _ . Blaine hadn’t seen Kurt like that before. Kurt had undressed himself slowly, giving Blaine a show and even though his eyes had been locked on Kurt’s pale smooth skin, the thickness of his thighs and the line of hair that travelled from his navel and into his underwear, Blaine had been miles away. He hated Sebastian for it. But apparently not enough for him to not text the other man. 

  
  


It started out innocently enough, Blaine demanding an explanation, Sebastian not giving any. The conversation, however, went on. 

  
  


‘You know Killer, it’s really cute that you worry so much about me.’ Blaine read and shook his head, not able to shake off the smile that had been plastered on his face for the past 30 minutes he had been texting Sebastian.

  
  


‘Dream on, Smythe.’

  
  


‘Oh you know I will ;)’

  
  


‘Oh my God’

  
  


‘You can just call me Sebastian, it’s okay really’

  
  


‘Lose my number, pls.’

  
  


‘Now now I wouldn’t wanna do that…’

  
  


‘And why is that?’

  
  


‘Because if I did, I wouldn’t be able to send u my nudes.’

  
  


‘...’

  
  


‘;)’

  
  


Blaine just shook his head and threw his phone next to him, placing his head on his pillow. He wanted to sleep. He had actually planned on going to sleep about half an hour ago, but instead time had gone by with him texting Sebastian. Blaine let go of a shaky breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Maybe if he just went to sleep now, Sebastian would be back to ignoring him tomorrow? It was a good way to end their texting anyways, he knew now that Sebastian was alright, at least kind of and now he could go to sleep. He texted Kurt goodnight and when he was about to reach over to his bedside lamp, his phone lighted up the room.  _ Wow Kurt was never this quick at answering his texts anymore.  _ Maybe he really did miss him, as much as Blaine missed Kurt? 

  
  


But it wasn't Kurt texting him. It was Sebastian. He had sent him an image and before Blaine even had the chance to think any of this through he picked up his phone with shaky hands, his face already hot and probably also red. He surely hadn’t… Oh he had. 

  
  


Nothing could’ve prepared Blaine for what he was now staring at. Sebastian wasn’t fully naked. Well he was, but he had a pillow in front of his… well most precious parts. It was a picture taken in a Dalton dorm bathroom mirror. Sebastian was… well beautiful. Of course he was beautiful. But Blaine hadn’t seen - or ever thought of seeing him like this. He hadn’t wanted to see him like this. Sebastian was smiling at Blaine, his hair messy. His skin was not tanned due to it being winter, but you could tell that he was the kind of person that got a mean tan during the summer. He had beauty marks several places, some on his neck, but a lot on his toned chest and abdomen. Sebastian wasn’t as skinny as he could look in his oversized Dalton blazer. He really filled out his muscle. Blaine wondered if he fills out somewhere else too? Blaine blushed at the thought and stared at the pillow Sebastian used to cover his private parts. Blaine can feel himself getting hotter. Not only because of the thought of what was hiding underneath the pillow, but because of the way Sebastian was holding onto the pillow with such force… Blaine bit his lip and turned off his phone.  _ God, what he could do with those fingers. _

  
  


Blaine closed his eyes and let his hand travel down his own chest and stomach, feeling his semi-erect nipples, the thick hair leading down to his penis, but he moved past there and spread his legs wide. He let a finger circle around the place where no one, but himself, had ever touched. Not because he hadn’t wished to be touched there. Just because he kind of always topped? Kurt had always been more comfortable with Blaine topping, and Blaine would do anything to make Kurt comfortable in regards to sex. But obviously he had thought about how it would feel like when Kurt one day might finally feel comfortable enough to pull him apart, stating with fingers, and then his cock. Blaine slid a finger inside of himself and took a deep breath before gripping onto his hard cock with his other hand. He let his finger glide over his slid, spreading his precum over the rest of his cock. He didn’t move that hand just yet. He started moving his finger in and out of himself, first slowly, but then reaching a comfortable pace. Then he added another. As he was fingering himself, he started to pump his hard member, imagining what it would feel like to be fucked open by fingers. But it wasn’t Kurt’s fingers he was fucking. It was Sebastian’s long skinny ones’. He imagined sitting on Sebastian’s lap, biting into his neck while Sebastian was letting one hand fuck him gently, and the other was spreading his ass wide gripping firmly, just like had been holding on to that pillow. “F-fu-h.” Blaine mumbled, throwing his head back. He had barely touched himself and he was already  _ this  _ close.

  
  


And then the door to his bedroom opened.

  
  


It didn’t take Blaine more than a second to pull out of himself and try to gain some composure. It did however take a few seconds to actually realize who had walked into his room.

  
  


“What not happy to see… Wow, dude i’m sorry!” He heard Sam say and Blaine almost had to laugh at his friend’s attempt to cover his eyes, while exiting the room, resulting in him slamming right into the door.

  
  


“It’s uh- It’s okay, you can stay.” Blaine said and sat up straight, smoothing down his hair a bit. When Sam turned to look at him, Blaine could see that his friend was a deep shade of scarlet, but the grin that was plastered on his face, reassured Blaine that it wasn’t  _ that _ awkward between them. 

  
  


Sam sat down at the foot of the bed and Blaine thanked whatever God for the fact that he didn’t move closer. The two of them usually found themselves wrapped in each other, and the bedsheets, talking, but this time Blaine was glad that Sam stayed at least a metre away from him. “So… Just to get it out of the way. I’m sorry I walked in on you wanking, but I actually have to ask you something” Sam said and Blaine rolled his eyes.

  
  


“No Sam, I wasn’t thinking about you” 

  
  


“What?” Sam said, sounding offended. Blaine rolled his eyes again and threw a pillow at his friend, laughing. 

  
  


“No, but seriously. I’m glad I decided to come home early, cause I just got a call from Mercedes, who’s been, as you know, home for christmas.” Sam mumbled and ran a hand through his hair. He looked… Distressed. had something happened between the two of them? Despite Blaine’s earlier thoughts about him being happy that Sam wasn’t any closer he reached out and put a hand on his friends knee.

  
  


“Are you alright? Did something happen between you two? Are you getting back together…?”

  
  


Sam frowned and shook his head. “No, dude. I’m with Brittany. It’s got nothing to do with Mercedes and I…” He mumbled and ran a hand through his already messy blond hair. “It’s about you and Kurt.” Sam finally said and Blaine removed his hand and sat far back on the bed looking shocked. “Wha-?”

  
  


“She  _ saw  _ you Blaine. At The Lima Bean. Kissing. Now spill, what the hell is going on?” 

  
  


Fuck fuck fuck. No. If Mercedes have seen them… And told Sam… Who else have she told? Oh no. This was what Kurt hadn’t wanted to happen and now he’s never going to actually give their relationship a shot. Blaine let his head fall into his palm as he let out an annoyed groan. 

  
  


“It’s true. We were kissing.” He mumbled into his hand.

  
  


“What? Are you guys back together?”

  
  


“No - no!” Blaine said, looking up at Sam who looked confused. “It’s just… We’ve been hooking up here during christmas break and it’s been  _ so  _ nice. We had a heart to heart and we’ve agreed that if I come to New York after I graduate maybe we can pick things up again, but not before then… But we kissed and then we just didn’t  _ stop.  _ And then we had sex and I couldn’t freaking concentrate because-” Blaine stopped his rant and tried to tell himself that Sam didn’t look worried about him. No, he was just confused, that’s it. 

  
  


“Blaine calm down, it’s alright. You’ve got time to tell me, you don’t have to rush.” Sam said and placed a hand on Blaine’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. 

  
  


“So you’re  _ not  _ dating?” Sam asked.

  
  


Blaine shook his head.

  
  


“Are you okay with that?”

  
  


“I don’t know” Blaine answered truthfully, trying to push the memory of him masturbating to the thought of Sebastian fucking Smythe to the far back of his mind.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chapter 6 is going to be a New Years party chapter. What on earth could possibly happen to our boys when there’s alcohol involved…
> 
> Stay safe x


	6. Sink Your Teeth Into My Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell happened?!” Blaine asked, perhaps a bit too loud, because Ryder jumped a bit. Blaine squeezed Ryder’s shoulder, and let his hand rest on it instead of his cheek. 
> 
> As Blaine spoke, Joe and Sam failed to hold back their larger classmate and in just a second Jake was near Ryder again, though before he could reach him completely, Sam got a hold of him, pulling him away. Ryder curled in on himself, still not saying a word.
> 
> “HE FUCKING KISSED ME!” Jake screamed and seemed to relax against Sam after that. He was clearly, very drunk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter! A chapter that felt weird writing in the middle of summer.. But oh well, 2020 hasn't exactly been normal thus far. 
> 
> I'm dealing a lot with migraines lately, so some of the sentences are probably a bit weird and the structure a bit messy. I'm so sorry about that, I just have a hard time focusing.
> 
> Also, I love seeing you guys commenting, it encourages me to continue with the story, you guys are so nice to me <3 Thank you! 
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- Violence.  
> \- Drug use.  
> \- Homophobic behaviour.  
> \- Sexual content.
> 
> BTW! I need your help with something, you'll se what in my end notes after reading the chapter!
> 
> Stay safe guys x

Blaine was surprised that he was  _ actually  _ enjoying himself. He had thought being sober  _ and single  _ at a New Year’s Eve party would suck, but it turned out that he was actually doing just fine. In fact he was _ really _ enjoying himself. He was sat in Brittany’s living room, on the floor with Sam on his right side and Kitty on his left. Sam was really drunk. As in really  _ really  _ drunk and was leaning against Blaine, and had been, for the past 30 minutes. At first Blaine had thought it was kind of cute, but after 15 minutes of dead-weight on his shoulder, he just wanted to push his blond friend off of him. But he didn’t, mainly because he had missed him and secondly because he loved having someone he had to take care of. It really took his mind off Kurt, who hadn’t texted him since the day he got back to New York. 

  
  


He knew Kurt was fine, he had seen him update his facebook now and then, and honestly, he kind of understood why Kurt hadn’t answered him. His ex probably needed some time to think about everything that had been said and done during his visit. But he knew Mercedes hadn’t mentioned the fact that she saw them kiss to anyone but Sam, since Blaine had made Sam ask her about it. That made him a bit more calm about Kurt’s lack of response. 

  
  


“Mmhm.” Blaine heard Sam mumble against his shoulder and he smiled, shaking his head a bit. No, he shouldn’t think about Kurt tonight. Tonight he should just celebrate with the New Directions. Brittany had only invited the current choir, as a plan to get them together and just have fun without having to think about competition. Blaine had liked that idea, that way he didn’t have to spend an entire evening with all of his friends  _ and Kurt  _ and not be able to dance, kiss or really do anything to or with him. Sam was also a huge fan of not having to worry about Santana hanging around or, to use Sam’s own words, manipulating Brittany into doing something that would ruin their relationship.

  
  


Blaine ran a comforting hand through Sam’s sweaty hair and heard the guy purr. Blaine rolled his eyes and had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. God, Sam could really be pathetic sometimes. He was definitely a pathetic drunk. “Feels nice.” he then heard Sam mumbled and Blaine nodded his head. “I know, but don’t you dare fall asleep on me. First of all I don’t want this shirt ruined by you drooling on it, second of all I can’t carry you to my car.” Blaine said, which caused Sam to laugh and lift his head from Blaine’s shoulder. 

  
  


“S’fine I can just sleep here.” 

  
  


“No you can definitely  _ not  _ sleep here.” Blaine answered, remembering the promise he had made to his mother. “No sleeping over at Sam’s girlfriend’s house. No babies on my watch.” She had said and Blaine had just rolled his eyes, not thinking that it would be a problem. He had no idea if Sam was even sleeping with Brittany. Or anyone. Had Sam slept with anyone? Was he a virgin? “Uh dude, you’re turning red.” Sam said and poked his cheek. Blaine shook his head and got up from his position on the floor. “Uh, i’m just hot. Gonna grab some water.” Blaine mumbled and left Sam and Kitty on the floor in the living room. 

  
  


As Blaine entered the hallway, that led into the kitchen, he should have been surprised to find Ryder sitting alone on the staircase looking at his phone. But he unfortunately wasn’t. He hadn’t really been noticing who was in the livingroom and who wasn’t, but seeing Ryder here alone wasn’t a surprise to Blaine after the talk the two of them had had right before christmas. For Ryder’s sake, however, Blaine acted surprised. 

  
  


“Ryder, what are you doing out here by yourself?” Blaine asked as he, instead of going to the kitchen, walked to the staircase and took a seat beside his friend. Ryder smiled at Blaine, before shaking his head. “Just… You know.” And he did know. God, how he  _ did know.  _ Jake and Marley had been all over each other ever since they first started dating, and it had been cute, Blaine had thought, but after knowing about Ryder’s secret crush, every time he saw them together, the only thing Blaine could think about was whether Ryder was okay or not. 

  
  


He reached over and let his hand slide into Ryder’s. It wasn’t anything but a sweet gesture. It was Blaine showing Ryder that someone actually  _ cared.  _ And that someone should care. Ryder was an amazing sweet guy and Blaine hated that the way he discovered his sexuality was by developing a crush that wouldn’t actually turn into anything but just that. He felt Ryder squeeze his hand and that made Blaine smile up at the younger man. “You know you can always talk to me, right?” Blaine commented after a few minutes of silence. 

  
  


“Yeah I know… Thanks Blaine.” 

  
  


“You don’t have to thank me Ryder, you’re my friend.” Blaine said and let his head fall onto Ryder’s shoulder. A few seconds later he felt Ryder’s arm snake around his own shoulder and Blaine let his eyes fall shut for a few seconds. Okay, now he knew what Sam had meant when he said that he could ‘just sleep here’. It was getting late, well close to midnight, so not  _ that  _ late, but sugar could only help you so much his mission to stay awake. And Ryder’s scent was warm and calming and his fingertips were caressing Blaine’s shoulder and his entire body just felt heavy and relaxed.

  
  


“It was never about Marley.” 

  
  


Blaine sat up straight. Huh? He glanced over at his friend, allowing him to continue. 

  
  


“I just… I realized that it was never about Marley. It was always about Jake, always have, always will be.” Oh Ryder… Blaine knew that Ryder certainly didn’t want to hear Blaine trying to tell him that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that he might have a crush on his best friend now, but it would never compare to the love that was out there waiting for him. He couldn’t tell Ryder that. Not right now. Ryder had to slowly get over his crush by himself, and then Blaine would be more than happy to talk to him about… guys, girls. Whatever. 

  
  


“I just. I think I might have used her? I don’t know. I really enjoyed… Well still enjoy spending time with her and she is so so  _ so  _ nice and warm and she always smells really great and laughs at my jokes, but I just never felt that… Spark with her? I literally feel like I  _ burn  _ every time Jakes touches me. I’ve never felt like that with her…” 

  
  


Blaine nodded slowly. “But why do you think you used her?”

  
  


“I don’t know. I just… I wanted Jake to spend time with me. But he always wanted to hang out with her, so I figured if I was to hang out with her, he wouldn’t… I don’t know. It’s stupid really. I’m stupid, i’m so so so awful...”

  
  


“No… Ryder, stop. Look, you probably didn’t realize that what you did might had had something to do with your crush on Jake, right?” Ryder nodded. “Exactly. Look, maybe it was something you did, but you didn’t do it to be mean or on purpose at all, I think you’re allowed to cut yourself some slack” Blaine said honestly and just stared at his friend. He looked confused, but also as if he was hearing what Blaine was saying. Blaine knew Ryder felt guilty, he could  _ see  _ the guilt on his face, mainly because Blaine had felt the same guilt not many weeks ago. But he seemed to relax a bit after hearing what Blaine had to say.

  
  


“Thanks Blaine.” Ryder said and rearranged their positions, so that he now had pulled the smaller man in for a hug. Blaine smiled against Ryder’s broad shoulder and hugged him back tightly. Maybe he could get Ryder to enjoy his New Years Eve instead of just sitting out here? “Really Blaine, thank you… I really don’t know how I deserve a friend like y-”

  
  


“Oi, you stealing my man Anderson?” Blaine suddenly heard a deep warm,  _ very drunk,  _ voice interrupt. Jake. Blaine gulped and pulled away from Ryder, though neither of the boys moved from their position on the staircase, as Jake made his way towards the pair. 

  
  


He understood why Ryder had hid away out here. Not only seeing the guy you like with someone else, but seeing the guy you like,  _ looking like that _ , with someone else. Jake was a good looking guy, no one would argue otherwise. Probably the best looking guy in New Directions, with a kind face and an amazing dancer’s body. And that was when he was only dressed for school. Now he was dressed in suit pants that hugged his body perfectly and a dark navy shirt. He had been sporting a tie and matching blazer earlier, but midst dancing and drinking games that had come off. His shirt was therefore slightly untucked and unbuttoned at the top. Sweat also contributed to him looking glowing and the hazy far away look in his eyes just made him look even more mysterious than he did on a day to day basis. Okay. Blaine could definitely understand why Ryder was crushing on him. 

  
  


Next to him Ryder was blushing and looking into his lap.  _ You’re too obvious Ryder!  _ Blaine wanted to shout at him, but then again, Jake was probably too drunk to notice Ryder’s neck sporting a scarlet complexion. 

  
  


“Really Blaine, I don’t think Sam is going to be very happy if you choose Ryder to be your New Years kiss over him.” Jake joked, which caused Blaine to roll his eyes and Ryder to blush even deeper.

  
  


“Ha-ha.” Blaine just answered, making Jake grin even wider. He was really beautiful. “And look at Ryder, he’s blushing! Maybe you’ll get lucky eh?” He continued and winked at Ryder who coughed, shook his head and straightened himself out a bit. Blaine smiled at that, he knew that the last thing Ryder wanted was for Jake to find out about his crush. 

  
  


“No, but seriously. Why are you guys out here? Something wrong?”

  
  


At that question, Ryder shook his head, maybe a bit too forced and fast. But Jake hadn’t noticed it, it seemed, because he took a step closer to Ryder and reached out for him.

  
  


“Good then. Now if you don’t mind then, Blaine, I would like to steal my man back and have him join me for a little dance?”

  
  


Blaine forced a smile. God. Jake wasn't exactly making this easier on Ryder, not that he knew that he had to… But  _ jeez.  _ Blaine looked at Ryder who was blushing harder and was biting down on his lower lip, as he seemed  _ lost  _ in the beauty that was Jacob Puckerman. 

  
  


“Sure, if you absolutely  _ have to _ .” Blaine joked and shoved Ryder lightly, making the boy shake his head and grab a hold of Jake’s hand, helping him stand. “Yeah yeah…” Ryder just mumbled and the two walked back towards the living room, Jake wrapping his arm around Ryder’s shoulder.

  
  


As Blaine watched the two exit the hallway, he felt a buzz coming from his pocket and he couldn’t help but smile, before even fishing for his phone. He  _ knew  _ Kurt wouldn’t forget him on New Year’s Eve. Blaine grabbed his phone and as he turned it around to look at his screen, it wasn’t Kurt’s name that was flashing above the text with the words ‘Hey baby’ written with no smiley, no nothing to indicate what kind of mood  _ Sebastian  _ would be in tonight. Blaine rolled his eyes, before he started typing.

  
  


‘Sebastian.’ He wrote, not really wanting to feed into Sebastian’s shameless flirting. He hadn’t had contact with him since… Well since Sebastian more or less send him a nude. He hadn’t known what to answer, especially after the… Incident that happened right after. And Sebastian hadn’t reached out either, so it had actually been perfect. 

  
  


‘Aw, in a bad mood? Why, Kurt not putting out?’ He received a few seconds later. 

  
  


‘Shut up, he’s in New York.’

  
  


‘Does that mean I can send you more nudes?;)’

  
  


At that Blaine blushed. He knew that if he was to talk to Sebastian again, that the picture would come up eventually, but he hadn’t expected that it would be the subject of their conversation  _ that _ quickly. 

  
  


‘What do you want Sebastian?’ He ended up typing.

  
  


‘To talk.”

  
  


Blaine raised his eyebrows, again, not really expecting that would be what Sebastian wanted.

  
  


‘Please…’

  
  


That text came a few seconds later and Blaine took a deep breath. Maybe he was in trouble? Sebastian surely wouldn’t  _ beg  _ to talk to him, if it wasn’t important. He found Sebastian’s phone number and before he clicked to call him, he scanned the room, well the hallway. He could hear loud chatting and music coming from the room next to him, surely no one would miss him for a few minutes? He got up and walked a few steps up the stairs and sat down again. Here would be as good as anywhere to talk. He then called the taller man. 

  
  


“What?” Blaine asked as he heard the other pick up.

  
  


“Hey beautiful…” he heard Sebastian’s voice whisper. Hm. He sounded like he was in a bathroom of some sort, his voice echoing. He could however, also hear faint music coming from wherever Sebastian was celebrating the new year. 

  
  


“What do you want Sebastian?”   
  


“I want you to come to Scandals and dance with me.” Okay. He was drunk. As in really drunk. He had seen Sebastian drunk a couple of times, and the man had always managed to keep himself pretty level-headed. But now he was slurring on his words, making his drunken-state pretty obvious. Blaine took a deep breath.

  
  


“As… appealing as that sounds, I can’t. I’m already at a party, and I am someone’s ride. Therefore I cannot just leave.” Blaine explained.

  
  


“Aw, come on Blainey.” He heard Sebastian giggle. “What if I told you, that i’m so fucking buzzed right now? It feels amazing, I feel amazing. God the music, the dancefloor… It feels so fucking  _ good.” _ Sebastian moaned into the phone, making Blaine blush and look around, making sure no one was there listening. “I just  _ need you _ to make it all feel perfect Blaine.” Sebastian purred into the phone and when he didn’t get an answer right away, he continued: “Come on Killer, you love being the hero. You love being there when people need you and I  _ need _ you.”

  
  


“Sebastian…”

  
  


“You know,  _ I  _ need a ride home…?” Sebastian interrupted, the tone of his voice had changed, he sounded irritated all of a sudden. “Or a ride to Dalton. You know why? Because my dad didn’t want to celebrate christmas as a family this year. He’s spending it with his  _ new  _ family. So fucking screwed up…” Sebastian mumbled and Blaine took a deep breath, not really knowing how to respond. 

  
  


“... And what am I going to tell mom….?” Sebastian barely whispered, but Blaine heard him. He wanted to be there, with Sebastian. Hugging him, telling him that it was going to be okay. 

  
  


“Sebastian…” He tried again.

  
  


“It’s midnight you know…?” Sebastian interrupted again, probably scared of what Blaine had to say on the whole situation. Honestly, it wasn’t much, so Blaine was kind of glad that Sebastian had interrupted. “And i’m sitting here in the bathroom at Scandals, while everyone is getting a kiss from their special someone…” Sebastian whispered and Blaine gulped. Oh… Yeah. Midnight. Kissing. Kurt still hadn’t called him. He shook his head, trying to focus on Sebastian.

  
  


“If you were here I would’ve kissed you…” Sebastian then continued, but before Blaine could even get a chance to even think about what Sebastian had just said, a loud crash came from the living room, followed by gasps and screams. What? Blaine hung up and rushed into the living room. He didn’t want to think about what Sebastian had just told him, mainly because he didn’t really want to have to deal with it right now. What he witnessed, as he entered the living room, was a perfect excuse not to. 

  
  


The room that before had been filled with music, laughter and chatter was now dead silent. The music was turned off and the lights on. In one end of the room Sam and Joe were holding back Jake. He looked angry and was trying to escape their grasps. Marley was standing next to them, not looking at Jake, but a look of horror was plastered on her face, as she stared into nothingness. At the other end of the room, Ryder had been sat on a chair, his nose heavily bleeding, and Kitty was standing next to him, rubbing his back and telling him to keep his head up. The rest of the party were scattered around the room, looking equally as shocked as Marley. They weren’t moving, nor were they saying anything. 

  
  


Blaine’s instinct told him to go to Ryder, so he did, standing in front of him, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. Ryder had his eyes closed, but leaned into Blaine’s touch, as soon as Blaine had placed his hand on his cheek. “Ryder?” Blaine asked and then the younger man opened his eyes and he just looked  _ broken.  _ He looked like someone who wanted to disappear far away from here, or perhaps even make the last 30 minutes go away. Blaine gasped and without removing his hand from Ryder, trying to offer some sort of comfort, he turned around to look at Sam. He looked worried. Then he looked to Jake. 

  
  


“What the  _ hell  _ happened?!” Blaine asked, perhaps a bit too loud, because Ryder jumped a bit. Blaine squeezed Ryder’s shoulder, and let his hand rest on it instead of his cheek. 

  
  


As Blaine spoke, Joe and Sam failed to hold back their larger classmate and in just a second Jake was near Ryder again, though before he could reach him completely, Sam got a hold of him, pulling him away. Ryder curled in on himself, still not saying a word.

  
  


“HE FUCKING KISSED ME!” Jake screamed and seemed to relax against Sam after that. He was clearly, very drunk. 

  
  


Blaine’s eyes widened and he held onto Ryder a little tighter.  _ Oh God…  _ Oh God! Blaine knew he wasn’t being fair, but the only thing he could think about was what Ryder was going trough. He had himself, after all, been in the situation of crushing on a straight guy before, a feeling that Jake would never understand. Blaine could sympathize with Ryder and really understand the ache in his heart, an ache he didn’t even have to say was there, Blaine could see it in his eyes. He obviously knew that this would be overwhelming for Jake, but honestly… Jake’s reaction just made it easier for him to sympathize with Ryder. 

  
  


Blaine let go of Ryder and took a step forward, standing in front of him. “And you hit him!?” Blaine yelled back, not hiding his own frustration and anger. He looked into Jake’s eyes. Jake wasn’t cruel. Jake was a good, kind person and an amazing friend. He  _ knew  _ that. But this reaction… This reaction was not okay and he had to know that. He already did. He could see it in Jake’s eyes. He wasn’t angry. He was confused, but most of all he was hurt. It was easy to see. He took another step forward, but that only made Jake shake his head and grab Marley’s hand. 

  
  


“Whatever, come on Marley…” Jake mumbled and within a few seconds they were out of the house. 

  
  


As soon as the front door closed, painful sobs filled the room. Blaine felt a pair of arms wrap around him, pulling him to the ground. Blaine cradled Ryder in his arms, letting the man sob against his shoulder. Blaine took a deep breath, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened. Ryder had kissed Jake.  _ Kissed  _ Jake. Not only had he kissed Jake, he had kissed Jake at midnight, got punched in the nose and at the same time just come out as… Well whatever Ryder was. Blaine held him tighter.  _ That’s no way to come out…  _

  
  


“So-sorry…” He heard Ryder mumble against his shoulder, and as he was about to tell the other man off for  _ ever being sorry for loving someone,  _ he realised that Ryder was talking about his now bloody sleeve. He smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, shh.” Blaine just said and felt the other calm down with every hairstroke. Kitty kneeled down in front of them and smiled, holding out a washcloth. “Don’t you think we should get you clean?” She asked softly and Blaine just looked at Ryder, waiting for an answer. 

  
  


“S-sure.”

  
  


“Yeah? You sure?”

  
  


As Ryder nodded and got up with the help from Kitty, she looked at Blaine. ‘I’ll take care of him.’ she mouthed and Blaine just nodded, letting him go. When they left the room Blaine finally looked around and realised that most of the party had split. He could hear chatter from the kitchen, and figured most had just gone to give Ryder some space. Sam and Brittany were however still in the room, looking at Blaine worried… and well, confused. He couldn’t blame them. As Blaine took off his bloody shirt, he felt his phone buzz in his trousers. 

  
  


_ Shit, Sebastian. _

  
  


Before he could do anything, Sam spoke: “So…?” 

  
  


“I… It’s not my place to explain Sam.” Blaine said before pulling out his phone, looking at it. And as he had expected, it was Sebastian who had sent him a text.

‘Fuck you, Blaine.’

  
  


Blaine…  _ Blaine.  _ He never called him Blaine. God, what had he done? He didn’t exactly regret hanging up on Sebastian, but as Sebastian himself had alluded to, Blaine did love being the hero. He glanced up at Sam and Brittany. Sam had his face hidden in Brittany’s neck, probably whispering something funny, since she was just standing there giggling. Blaine smiled. They were really a cute couple. 

  
  


“Um… Sam, I have to go… Someone.. Uh.” He mumbled, trying to catch Sam’s attention. He had his phone in his hand, waving it around. “Someone might be in trouble.” he said honestly and Sam smiled. He  _ knew.  _

  
  


“Yeah, it’s fine. Go. I’ll help Brit clean up this mess.” Sam said and pecked Brittany’s cheek. 

  
  


Forgetting about his shirt and coat, Blaine was already halfway out the door, when he said: “I’ll be back in an hour - Tops!” 

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


Scandals was crowded. No that was an understatement. Blaine had to actually push past people to even get into the club, as people were standing in every nook and cranny they could find it seemed like. Luckily Blaine hadn’t needed to go downstairs to check in a coat or bag, since he had left Brittany’s house in only trousers and a t-shirt. He had his phone against his ear, trying to call Sebastian for what seemed like the 700th time. He crossed his fingers that the lack of answer meant that he was dancing and not passed out on the street somewhere.  _ Not at some stranger’s home getting laid either.  _ Blaine pushed the last thought out of his head and continued to push his way towards the dancefloor.

  
  


Turned out, his assumption of Sebastian being on the dancefloor had been right. He wasn’t only dancing however. No Sebastian was swaying his hips from side to side, his tongue down some smaller dark haired guy’s throat. Blaine bit down hard on his lower lip and tried to make his way towards them.  _ God, look  _ **_up,_ ** Sebastian.  **_look up!_ ** The last thing Blaine wanted to do, was interrupt. But then again, Sebastian had asked him to come.  _ If you were here I would’ve kissed you… _

  
  


Blaine took a deep breath and watched as the smaller man turned around, pressing his ass into Sebastian's crotch and as Sebastian snaked his arms around the smaller man, he looked up and caught Blaine’s eyes. He smirked and leaned down to the other guy’s neck, letting his tongue trace a pattern from the guy’s collarbone to just behind his ear, not once breaking his eye contact with Blaine. 

  
  


Blaine couldn’t swallow nor say anything. A lump has formed in his throat, making him unable to speak. His face felt hot though, and he was pretty sure that he was about the same colour as a tomato, as he moved closer to the dancing pair. When he got closer, he could see that Sebastian was not only very drunk, he was also, as he had suggested on the phone, very high. High on what Blaine didn’t know… He wasn’t sure if he  _ wanted  _ to know. 

  
  


“I knew you couldn’t resist my charm, killer.” Sebastian shouted at him, making the guy that he was dancing with look up at Sebastian confused, and then he looked at Blaine, frowning. Blaine, however, didn’t get to study the guy further, because Sebastian pushed him away and then pulled Blaine to him. They were chest to chest, hip to hip. He could feel Sebastian’s warmth, smell the beer on his breath and the product in his hair. They hadn’t been this close since Sectionals and he felt dizzy. He wasn’t able to fall though. Sebastian was holding onto him, his long slender fingers placed firmly on his hips… The same hands that had been holding onto that pillow. Blaine blushed. 

  
  


“Look at you…” He heard Sebastian mumble. Blaine then shook his head and tried to push himself away from Sebastian’s warm chest, only managing to get a bit of distance between them, before giving up. “Sebastian, I didn’t come here to dance, I came to make sure you were alright.” Blaine explained, looking up and into the taller man’s eyes.

  
  


“Aw, stop it Killer. You don’t care, no one does. Now shut up and dance with me.” And shut up he did.

  
  


Sebastian had pulled him close again, this time resting his forehead against Blaine’s. Sebastian grabbed Blaine’s hand, that had been placed on his chest, and moved them up along Sebastian’s sides, until both of Blaine’s hands were resting on the top of Sebastian’s back. Sebastian snaked his own arms around Blaine’s middle, resting his hands on the small of his back, pulling the man close. They were now hip to hip again and Blaine closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. Concentrate on what he came here to do. Concentrate on making sure that the small whimpers and noises that were hurting the back of his throat, didn’t make it to the surface. As the warmth of Sebastian’s forehead left his own, Blaine opened his eyes again, but didn’t get to stare at Sebastian, because the other man had moved his head and soon after Blaine felt a pair of soft wet lips attack his collarbone.  _ Shit.  _

  
  


Blaine should stop him. He really really  _ really  _ should push Sebastian away and get both of them to his car, so that they could pick up Sam and go home. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. He feared that if he wasn’t held up by Sebastian’s tight grasp, his knees would give up and he would fall. Despite the lack of alcohol, he felt  _ dizzy.  _ The warmth, Sebastian’s scent, his soft lips connecting with the sensitive skin on Blaine’s neck... Everything contributed to Blaine feeling hot and dizzy. Blaine had to bite down harder on his lower lip, as Sebastian began to nipple at the skin on his collarbone. Apparently, Sebastian had felt him tensing, because soon Sebastian’s lips were to be found by his ear, whispering: “Just let go, Killer.” And he did. It felt good, having someone take charge for once and as Sebastian moved to attack his neck with soft kisses, he flexed his neck to the side, making more room. 

  
  


Blaine could  _ feel  _ Sebastian. And he was pretty sure, Sebastian could feel him too. There was no way Sebastian couldn’t feel what he was doing to him. Their hips were tightly pressed together, swaying gently to the music. He didn’t know where his courage came from, but suddenly Blaine found himself pressing his hips against Sebastian’s, making the other man bite down on the place where his neck and collarbone met, resulting in a soft moan escaping Blaine’s mouth. He could feel Sebastian smirk against his neck, and Blaine wanted to punch him for that. 

  
  


Sebastian placed one last kiss to his neck, before he pulled back, still holding Blaine close, but moved just enough to be able to look at him. God he was…  _ Beautiful.  _ His hair was messy, his eyes hazed, his cheeks flushed and his lips red and swollen from kissing Blaine’s neck. Blaine could’ve leaned in and just kiss him right then and there. Wait was he leaning in? Blaine never got to get an answer to that question, as a tall man came up behind Sebastian and whispered something in his ear. Blaine couldn’t hear a thing. The only thing Blaine saw was Sebastian shaking his head, followed by a: “Not tonight.”

  
  


“Come on  _ baby boy _ , you know I pay well.” The man said. Huh, pay?

  
  


“DON’T call me that!” Sebastian growled back, resulting in the man grabbing Sebastian’s shirt and tried to pull him away from Blaine. Blaine however, held onto Sebastian tightly. 

  
  


“Leave him alone.” Blaine begged.

  
  


“What are you, his boyfriend or something?” The man said and with a small push, let go of Sebastian. Blaine pulled Sebastian closer to him and just held onto him for a moment, before making his way out of the club, his hand tightly around Sebastian’s wrist. 

  
  


_ What a night.  _

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


Blaine didn’t know whether or not it was the cold air or what had just occurred in the bar, but as soon as they got outside, Sebastian threw up. Blaine, of course, waited and when Sebastian was ready they walked to Blaine’s car, where Sebastian threw up again, this time, Blaine could hear that he was gasping for his breath, which told Blaine that it was probably some time since he had eaten. “Okay, let’s just sit here for a while, yeah?” Blaine said and sat Sebastian down on the ground. Blaine got in his car and grabbed a bottle of water and tried to frantically search for something Sebastian could eat, but nothing was there. Before he got out he grabbed a hoodie and was about to put it on himself, before he shook his head and went to Sebastian. He placed the hoodie around Sebastian’s broad shoulders, before joining him on the ground. 

  
  


He sat down next to him, making sure that Sebastian could lean against him, as Blaine stroked his back. Sebastian purred, which made Blaine smile slightly. “Here, drink this.” Blaine whispered and handed him the bottle of water. Sebastian flushed his mouth a few times, spitting onto the ground, before taking a large sip, emptying the entire bottle. Afterwards, he leaned into Blaine again, moaning as Blaine ran his fingers through his slightly sticky locks. “Probably wouldn't wanna kiss me now.” Sebastian mumbled and Blaine had to laugh at that, squeezing him tightly. 

  
  


They sat in silence for a few minutes. Sebastian was leaning heavily against him, probably trying to regain some strength (and if he knew Sebastian right, probably also some dignity), and Blaine just sat and played with his hair. If the cold wasn’t biting his skin, he was sure that they could’ve stayed there the entire night. Blaine hummed slightly, making Sebastian snuggle closer into his chest.

  
  


“You’re wrong you know.” 

  
  


“Hm?” Sebastian mumbled.

  
  


“What you said in there, about me not caring. You’re wrong. I  _ do  _ care. That’s why i’m here. I don’t know why I care, but I do.” Blaine explained. He could feel Sebastian’s hand, that had been resting on his thigh, grip slightly at the fabric of his trousers. “Now… Let’s go. We need to pick up Sam and you’re coming home with us.” Blaine explained.

  
  


“Mmhm dirty…” Sebastian mumbled and Blaine rolled his eyes, helping the other man into the back of his car. 

  
  


𐩘𐩘𐩘

  
  


As Blaine turned off the engine, when they had parked in front of his house, Blaine got out of the car quickly, without looking at Sam. When they had picked Sam up at Brittany’s house, Sam hadn’t been shocked to find Sebastian in the car. Not that Sam had told Blaine that, but Blaine had seen it in his eyes. He sported the same look he had when Blaine left Brittany’s house in the first place, only this time, it was mixed with worry. And Blaine  _ hated  _ that look. Mostly because he hated making people worry about him, especially Sam.

  
  


As Blaine tried to get Sebastian out of his car, he nearly fell backwards, resulting in Sam, picking Sebastian up bridal style instead. As the three of them entered the house, Blaine finally turned to look at his best friend. He opened his mouth to speak, but Sam got there first. “Look, I’ll help Sebastian get ready for bed, primarily because I can actually hold him up, and secondly because I know how particular you are with your… skincare and stuff.” Sam said and winked at Blaine, making him blush. Okay, at least the two of them were on good terms. “I’ll knock when he has brushed his teeth and stuff, okay?” Sam asked and Blaine could only nod his head. 

  
  


The three of them then walked upstairs and into separate bathrooms. As Blaine closed and locked his bathroom door, the first thing he did was walk to the sink and splash cold water on his face. He wanted to  _ do  _ something. He had no idea what. He should probably  _ actually  _ think the night’s events through before doing anything. But he was too tired to do it now… Then he should talk to Sam about all of this. He needed his advice. Was he even doing the right thing? The good thing? Blaine needed answers and he had no idea where to get them. Blaine didn’t bother with his night routine, but just stuck to brushing his teeth and as he finished, he heard a knock on his bathroom door. 

  
  


When he walked into his room, he saw a Sebastian who was now sat on his bed, looking pretty… Well out of it? He seemed very tired, and didn’t even glance up at Blaine as he entered the room. “I think it’s best if he sleeps in your bed… Might be shocked otherwise tomorrow.” Sam laughed and Blaine just nodded his head. He could see that point. Blaine couldn’t thank the Gods enough for Sebastian looking as if he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, otherwise Blaine would’ve been more freaked out about the fact that he would be sleeping in the same bed as Sebastian Smythe. The same guy who had been flirting with him since the day they met, the guy who had sent him nudes, kissed his neck,  _ God the guy he had masturbated to….  _ And obviously the guy that had caused a lot of problems in his last relationship. Oh no Kurt…

  
  


What would Kurt think? What if he found out about this? Was he even allowed to be seeing Sebastian like this? Had he been… cheating on Kurt? No, surely not. They weren’t in a relationship. He hadn’t even called or answered Blaine’s texts. But why did the thought of Kurt finding out about his… friendship with Sebastian freak him out?

  
  


“Yeah sure…” Blaine mumbled and watched as Sam turned to leave the room. As Sam reached the door, he turned around, and Blaine caught his eyes. “You’re doing a good thing Blaine, okay?” Sam said. Blaine bit down on his lip hard and nodded, not trusting his own voice right now. He felt warm inside. The fact that he had Sam’s support meant a lot to him. The fact that someone but himself, saw this as an act of kindness, made Blaine release some tension he had been building in his body since he yelled at Jake earlier that night. 

  
  


Sam had closed the door. Now the only thing that filled the room was the light from his bedside lamp and Sebastian’s deep breaths. Blaine was holding his own. Blaine could feel that Sebastian was looking at him, and as he met the taller man’s eyes, he noticed that they looked more… focused... than before. “Um…” Blaine mumbled and ran a hand through his slightly messy hair. “Do you want to borrow something to sleep in?” Blaine asked and watched as Sebastian shook his head. Blaine then went to find something he himself could sleep in.

  
  


He started to change, in his room, his back to Sebastian. Normally he would have left the room and changed in the bathroom, but something compelled him to stay. He kept telling himself that it was the fact that he didn’t want to leave Sebastian alone in his room… But that might not be the whole truth. As he stood there, in front of his dresser, stripped down to only his underwear, he could feel Sebastian’s eyes burn their way through his body, feeding off of the sight of him. 

  
  


“You’re beautiful…” 

  
  


Blaine could feel his face burn and he was sure that if he looked at himself in the mirror he would be the same colour as a tomato. The warmth that he had felt in his chest, when Sam had left the room, only grew, so that his throat, cheeks, arms and even fingertips felt as if they were burning. Blaine quickly slipped into his navy silk pajamas and turned around. Sebastian was undressing himself. As in  _ completely undressing  _ himself. Obviously he had seen most of Sebastian’s body, but that was only in that one picture. Now he was here, up close and he was  _ beautiful.  _ Sebastian had stripped down to his underwear when Blaine went over to turn off his light, but didn’t fail to notice, that Sebastian actually undressed completely.

  
  


Okay, he couldn’t look at  _ that.  _ That would be inappropriate. Even though Blaine had definitely crossed a.. well,  _ multiple,  _ lines tonight, he had to remember that Sebastian was drunk and he couldn’t take advantage of that. He got himself into bed and underneath his heavy duvet covers, waiting for Sebastian to join him. He blushed at the thought. Sebastian would be in his bed, completely naked, underneath the same cover as him. 

  
  


As Sebastian crawled into the bed, Blaine shifted to his side, so that he was facing away from the other man. Other than that, there was no movement made for several minutes. Minutes that felt like hours. Blaine wasn’t asleep, and neither was Sebastian. He could hear long deep breaths coming from the boy, but not the kind that indicated that sleep had taken over. And he was perfectly still. Blaine wondered how he could breath that deeply and still be this still. How could he even breath at all? The air felt so thick around them, that even he, who wasn’t trying to be as still as humanly possibly had trouble drawing in breaths. 

  
  
After a few more minutes, the bed shifted and Blaine felt a strong arm wrap around his middle. The arm was careful at first, almost as if it was seeking permission. A permission Blaine gave, as he snuggled back against the other man’s warm chest and soon after they were pressed tightly together. Sebastian’s arm around his middle, holding him firmly in place, legs tangled together. Blaine tried not to think too much about the fact that Sebastian was completely naked, because that would  _ not  _ help him fall asleep. But the air felt light again, and his body less tense. The warmth of Sebastian, and his scent comforted Blaine in a way he had never known before, and just as sleep was about to take over he heard Sebastian mumble a “I’m sorry…” followed by a light peck behind his ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I kind of have an idea of where I want to take this whole Ryder/Jake situation... But what do you guys think? Who do you see Ryder end up with? 
> 
> Love from El x


End file.
